While *i directs the creation of an antimatter machine, Nikki sulks in a corner.

Nikki: This isn't fair! Nicothodes got to go out and hunt for the thing, but I didn't. Hey, I know! I'll lead my own group and go look for the thing!

*i: That piece goes over there, Croikle.

Zeviz summons some cobalt, allowing Zorro to revive Stew Boy.

Nikki: Aran, I'm starting my own group to go hunt for the thing. Will you join me?

Arancaytar looks up from a drawing that he is working on.

Arancaytar: No, I'm busy.

Nikki: What are you doing?

Arancaytar: I'm sketching a blueprint for the new Moderator Board.

Nikki looks at it.

Nikki: What! Moderators get cushy armchairs? That's not fair.

Arancaytar: Life isn't fair.

*i: Lift that end higher! Even higher! Okay, a little lower. There! It's in place.

The noob enters the forum and promptly bumps into Ben4808. Ben4808 drops what he was carrying.

Noob: wat r u doing

Ben4808: Picking all this back up, since you made me drop it.

*i: Screw that in and... what are you doing? Stay out of the way! Who are you, anyway?

Noob: ur mom!!!!1111!!!!!!!! lol pwnage!!!111!!!!!!11!

Wise Man rolls his eyes.

Wise Man: That was the stupidest insult I've heard in a long time.

*i: Good-bye, noob.

The noob is banned in a puff of smoke. Randomizer summons some barium. Zorro revives Sir David.

Nikki: Mysterious Man, want to go hunt the thing with me?

Mysterious Man: Only if you bring me a beer. No, scratch that. Bring me an entire six-pack.

Nikki walks off and returns a moment later with the beer. He hands it to Mysterious Man. Mysterious Man starts to get up. Then sits back down and opens the first beer.

Mysterious Man: Ha! I can't believe you fell for that! I'm not going anywhere. Now run along.

Nikki: But you... oh, never mind. Alorael, will you help me hunt down the thing?

Alorael: No. I'm busy writing a letter.

Nikki: A letter? What for?

Alorael: It has come to my attention that countless pedestrians are injured every year after tripping on uneven sidewalks. I'm trying to allocate funds to fix that.

Zephyr Tempest summons some meitnerium. Zorro revives the Almighty Do-er of Stuff.

Zephyr Tempest: Energy potion, please.

Dikiyoba hands Zephyr Tempest an energy potion. Zephyr Tempest drinks it.

Nikki: TM, would you...

Terror's Martyr: Shut the [censored] up and go away, you [censored] little [censored]!

Nikki: Guess not.

Spring makes an adjustment to a piece of exposed machinery. Sproing! A spring shoots out of the machinery and rolls across the floor.

Spring: Oops.

Spring starts searching for the spring. Randomizer summons some antimony. Zorro revives Jewels.

Nikki: Hey, Spring. Do you want to come hunt for the thing with me?

Spring: I'm trying to find a spring at the moment.

Nikki: Isn't there anyone who will volunteer to help me?

Stew Boy: I'll volunteer. What do you need help with?

Nikki: Well, there's this thing. And it's... well, it's... it's hard to describe, beyond the fact that it’s a thing that attacks people. I'm trying to hunt it down.

Stew Boy: Doesn't that make it dangerous?

Nikki: Only if you're alone.

Sir David: A hunt? I would like to join you as well. Give me a moment to find my sword.

Sir David walks off. Zeviz summons some mercury. He gives it to Zorro. Zorro revives Dareva. Sir David comes back with a flaming longsword.

Sir David: I'm ready.

Nikki, Stew Boy, and Sir David exit. Spring finally finds the spring and attaches it again. *i finishes some wiring. He looks over the antimatter machine. At best, it is extremely crude. At worst, it violates all known laws of physics and probably several unknown ones as well.

*i: It'll have to do. Hydrogen, please.

Zephyr Tempest summons some hydrogen and hands a bottle of it to *i. *i dumps it into the machine and turns it on. After several anxious moments, the end result is a few atoms of antihydrogen. But Zorro is so skilled by now that he can combine the atoms with Galactic Core with no problem. Student of Trinity is revived.

Drakefyre, Kelandon, Marlenny, Lord Grimm, the Silent Assassin, Fatman, Slartucker, and Nicothodes enter. Kelandon pulls out a set of binoculars and scans the forum.

Kelandon: I don't see the thing here.

Marlenny: I can't believe that we've come this far without seeing the thing.

Fatman: Do we even know what the thing looks like?

Drakefyre: Not exactly, but I know we'll recognize it when we see it.

Nicothodes: And then I'll stab it!

Slartucker: I bet I know why we haven't seen the thing yet. It's because we're in a group.

Fatman: Yeah. We should use the Silent Assassin as bait to attract the thing.

Lord Grimm looks furious.

Lord Grimm: Hey! You can't use my brother as bait!

The Silent Assassin makes a few emphatic gestures. Lord Grimm sighs.

Lord Grimm: Unless, of course, he gives you his permission. Which he does.

Marlenny: That's all well and good, but what will we do when the thing show up?

Nicothodes: Stab it!

Drakefyre: We can handle it, I'm sure. Now, find a place to hide.

Everyone else hides, while the Silent Assassin waits in the open. Several minutes pass.

The thing: Rtyujm!

The thing suddenly appears in its full incomprehensible and indescribable horror. Drakefyre and Kelandon are momentarily overwhelmed.

Drakefyre: My eyes!

Kelandon: My ears!

Drakefyre closes his eyes and Kelandon covers his ears. Fatman doesn't seem concerned at all.

Fatman: Huh. So that's what the thing looks like.

Slartucker: This is ridiculous! I can see the thing, but I can't make any sense of it whatsoever. How am I supposed to cast a spell on it?

Nicothodes: Just take your best guess.

Nicothodes runs forward to stab the thing. Slartucker jumps out from his hiding place.

Lord Grimm: Slarty, Nico, get out of the way! I can't throw a reaperdisk when you're so close to the thing!

Nicothodes: Just let me stab it once!

The thing: Nzdscp!

Nicothodes: Wha...?

Nicothodes' stab goes wide as she falls over unconscious.

Slartucker: Udder des... ow! My arm!

Slartucker stares at the mechanical pencil-caused gash in his arm. Drakefyre and Kelandon finally recover and step forward.

Drakefyre: Kill!

The thing is thrown to the ground by a huge bolt of magical energy.

The thing: Ubkjnm zlqwrp!

The thing is hit by another spell from Drakefyre. Temporarily defeated, the thing slithers off quickly.

Kelandon: That wasn't too bad. At least we know what we're up against now.

Marlenny: Are you kidding? Nicothodes is down and Slartucker is injured. I don't see how it could have been any worse.

Fatman: Well, I can.

Fatman points to Lord Grimm, lying unconscious on the ground. The Silent Assassin is kneeling beside him, trying to wake him up. Lord Grimm opens his eyes and sits up. He opens his mouth to speak... and no sound comes out.

Kelandon: Oh, great. Now neither one of them can talk.

Nicothodes stands up as well. She picks up her mechanical pencil and brushes the dirt off it carefully.

Marlenny: How are you, Nicothodes?

Nicothodes glares at Marlenny.

Nicothodes: I'm fine! Why wouldn't I be fine?! Huh?

Marlenny: It was only a question! No need to get nasty.

Slartucker: Uh, can we go back now? I'm injured.

Fatman: Don't you know some sort of healing spell?

Slartucker: No, the closest thing I have is Cure Parasite.

Drakefyre: Fatman, Nicothodes, help Slartucker back to the Tech Support Forum so Ephesos can heal him.

Slartucker, Fatman, and Nicothodes exit.

Drakefyre: Lord Grimm, Silent Assassin, would you rather turn back or go on?

Lord Grimm and the Silent Assassin point at the ground, indicating their desire to stay.

Drakefyre: Good. Now, it looks like the thing headed for the Blades of Exile Forum. Let's go there.

Drakefyre, Kelandon, Marlenny, Lord Grimm, and the Silent Assassin exit.

*i puts some helium through the antimatter machine. Zorro quickly combines the few molecules of antihelium with Galactic Core and revives Delicious Vlish. Delicious Vlish wiggles his tentacles experimentally.

Delicious Vlish: Now this is exciting!

*i: That wasn't too bad. It only took two tries. Now, are there any others?

Arancaytar: Yes. Rakshasi has antigallium.

*i: Antigallium? Hmm. It could take a while to get some of that.

Zephyr Tempest summons some molybdenum. Zorro combines it with Galactic Core and revives Inthrall.

Student of Trinity: Since no one should go out alone, does anyone want to go to one of the game forums with me?

Dareva: Why? What do you need?

Student of Trinity: I need to gather some rocks.

Ben4808: For what?

Student of Trinity: As part of my new philosophy: when life gives you noobs, chuck rocks. You never know when life will throw a few noobs your way!

Ephesos: I'm almost out of herbs to make more energy potions, so Dikiyoba and I need to go to the Blades of Avernum Forum to gather some more.

Student of Trinity: Great! Perhaps I will pick up a sling as well.

Ephesos, Student of Trinity, and Dikiyoba exit.

Infernal666hate: Eye with got Geneforge demo-sleeve.

Infernal666hate picks up the three pieces of demonslayer and exits. Zeviz summons some einsteinium. Zorro revives Enraged Slith. Enraged Slith looks slightly blue and shakes violently after spending so long in the Miscellaneous Forum.

Enraged Slith: S... so c... cold...

Nick Ringer, Order Mage, Mr. Bookworm, Major, and a newb enter from the General Forum. Nick Ringer is carrying a few cans of beer. He walks over to Mysterious Man.

Nick Ringer: Were you the one who called me up and requested these?

Mysterious Man: Yes, but you're a little late. I already have some.

Nick Ringer: Oh well. I guess you won't mind if I drink them then.

Mysterious Man: Not at all.

GoldenKing walks over to them with a bottle of skribbane.

GoldenKing: one botle ov skribbane wont hurt naything

Order Mage: What's up, everyone? Why are you all here instead of in the General Forum?

The teenage fluffy turtle enters and bites Order Mage's ankle.

Order Mage: Ow! All right, all right. Here's my sanity.

The teenage fluffy turtle looks askance at the tiny slip of sanity it is offered. It eats it in one bite and then trots over to Major.

Major: What do you want? Oh, my sanity.

The Almighty Do-er of Stuff catches sight of the teenage fluffy turtle eating Major's sanity.

The Almighty Do-er of Stuff: One did survive! What shall I name it?

The teenage fluffy turtle trots over to the newb. The newb gives it his sanity. Order Mage hops over to Nick Ringer, holding his injured foot.

Order Mage: Why isn't the fluffy turtle biting your ankle?

Nick Ringer: Mr. Bookworm and I gave the fluffy turtle our sanities in the General Forum.

Order Mage rolls his eyes.

Order Mage: Well, good for you.

Randomizer drinks an energy potion and then summons some zinc, letting Zorro revive Desert Pl@h.

The Almighty Do-er of Stuff: I know! The fluffy turtle will be named Inspector Walnut!

Zephyr Tempest summons some gallium and hands it to *i. *i puts the gallium into the antimatter machine and turns it on. The machine grinds to a halt only halfway through the process. *i sighs, picks up a few tools and starts working on the machine.

*i: If you're not doing anything, you should go help clean up the Announcements Forum.

Lazarus: But...

Mysterious Man: Let's just go.

Mysterious Man stands up, picks up the beer, and exits. Most of the Spiderwebbers follow. Only Alorael (who is still writing the letter), the mages, *i, and Zorro remain.

About the time that Delicious Vlish is revived in the Tech Support Forum, Nikki, Stew Boy, Sir David, and Tyranicus enter the Avernum 4 Forum. Tyranicus is carrying a bow.

Nikki: Thanks for coming with us, Tyranicus.

Tyranicus: It beats having to clean up the Announcements Forum. I just hope I don't miss seeing Jumpin' Salmon snipe Bomber and Lord Llama. He's threatened to do so four times already.

Nikki: Now, where should we start looking for the thing at?

Stew Boy: The lowest level of this forum. I imagine that the thing likes to hide in dark places.

Tyranicus: Sounds good.

Nikki, Sir David, Tyranicus, and Stew Boy climb down to the lowest level.

Nikki: It's really dark down here. How will we see anything?

Sir David draws his flaming sword. The flames provide just enough light to light up the passage.

Sir David: Shall we move on?

Nikki: Yes, let's start searching.

While Nikki, Sir David, Stew Boy, and Tyranicus search for the thing on the lowest level, Ephesos, Dikiyoba, and Student of Trinity enter on the main level. Infernal666hate also enters and starts looking for an anvil and the tools necessary to reforge demonslayer. Ephesos and Dikiyoba try to walk through the forum as quickly as possible, but they often have to stop and wait for Student of Trinity. Student of Trinity keeps pausing to pick up rocks.

Ephesos: Come on, Student of Trinity. There will be plenty of time for you to collect rocks in the Blades of Avernum Forum.

Student of Trinity: Can't you collect herbs here instead?

Ephesos: I would, except that it's too dark to see anything easily.

Student of Trinity: All right. I'm coming.

Ephesos, Dikiyoba, and Student of Trinity exit. Infernal666hate finds a small forge and starts searching for tools. Everything is available except for a pair of tongs.

Infernal666hate: Y in their ever an pear on tons hen ewe near then?

After several minutes of searching, Infernal666hate gives up and picks up a set of pincers instead.

Infernal666hate: Clue efreet.

Back in the lowest level, Sir David rounds a bend in the passageway. Nikki halts uncertainly.

Nikki: Hey! Where's Stew Boy?

Nikki and Tyranicus turn and look back.

Stew Boy: I'm right here.

Nikki: Don't lag behind so much or the thing might get you.

Nikki rounds the corner and promptly trips over Sir David, lying unconscious on the ground. Nikki scrambles up.

Nikki: Sir David?

Tyranicus pulls out his bow and looks around.

Tyranicus: He was only ahead of us for a moment. How could the thing strike so quickly?

Sir David wakes up and gets to his feet.

Sir David: \/\/|-|47 |-|4993|\|3|)?

Nikki: You were attacked by the thing.

Sir David: 0|-|.

Sir David picks up his flaming sword.

Tyranicus: Now what?

Nikki: We keep searching, I guess.

Ephesos, Dikiyoba, and Student of Trinity enter. Student of Trinity stoops to examine a rock.

Student of Trinity: This is a nice rock.

Dikiyoba: What's that over there?

Dikiyoba points to three figures entering from the other side of the forum. Ephesos watches them for a moment.

Ephesos: It looks like Fatman... and Nicothodes... and Slartucker. Is he injured?

Ephesos runs over. Dikiyoba follows. Student of Trinity looks up from the rock.

Student of Trinity: Hey! Wait up!

Student of Trinity follows them. He catches up as Ephesos casts a healing spell on Slartucker.

Slartucker: Thank you!

Ephesos: How did the hunt go? Not so good, I take it.

Fatman: Eh, whatever.

Slartucker: The thing got Lord Grimm and I got stabbed.

Nicothodes: Oh, shut up. It was an accident.

Dikiyoba: Nicothodes isn't as cheerful as Dikiyoba remem...

Nicothodes: I said, SHUT UP!

Slartucker: And Nicothodes was attacked by the thing as well.

Nicothodes: Hmmph.

Dikiyoba: Dikiyoba never thought Dikiyoba would hear Nicothodes talk like that.

Nicothodes: That's because you're just STUPID!

Ephesos: It looks like Nicothodes was transformed into a flamer.

Slartucker: Yes, that's what I figured too.

Fatman: Nicothodes is a flamer? Does that mean that if she gets hit hard enough, she will explode?

Nicothodes: TRY IT AND I'LL STAB YOU, FREAK!

Fatman looks at the rock that Student of Trinity is holding.

Student of Trinity: You know, I think this might be a rough dia... hey!

Fatman grabs the rock and tosses it at Nicothodes. The rock bounces off harmlessly.

Nicothodes: DIE!

Nicothodes chases after Fatman with her mechanical pencil held ready. The others watch.

Nicothodes: I'LL KILL YOU!

Fatman: Help!

Ephesos: I have no sympathy.

Slartucker: Even when she's homicidal, she's cute.

Student of Trinity: Shouldn't someone do something?

Ephesos: If Fatman is injured, I'll heal him. Otherwise, I'm collecting the herbs I need to make more energy potions.

Ephesos walks off. Dikiyoba follows.

Student of Trinity: Aha! There's a sling!

Student of Trinity picks it up. Fatman and Nicothodes run by again.

Fatman: Someone help me! She's psycho!

Nicothodes: I'LL KI... wha?

Nicothodes halts as a rock flies through the air just over her head. Student of Trinity quickly hides the sling behind his back. Fatman hides behind a rock. Nicothodes looks around.

Nicothodes: ALL RIGHT, WHERE'D HE GO?

Student of Trinity: Is he really worth worrying about?

Nicothodes thinks for a moment.

Nicothodes: I suppose you're right. But Fatman had better WATCH OUT!

Nicothodes, Student of Trinity, and Slartucker walk away. Fatman peers over the rock. As he is about to stand up, he senses something behind him. He looks behind him. The thing is there.

Fatman: Oh, great. I just knew this was going to happen eventually.

Fatman blacks out. He wakes up sometime later when he hears Slartucker calling.

Slartucker: Fatman! Where'd you go?

Student of Trinity: I think I saw him last in this area.

Nicothodes: But he's stupid. Let's just leave him.

Fatman stands up.

Fatman: im hear

Slartucker: I guess you've been attacked by the thing.

Fatman: yes wear r ephesos adn dikiyoba

Slartucker: I think they're just over that hill.

Suddenly, they hear Ephesos yell.

Ephesos: What!

Slartucker: What could have happened now?

Student of Trinity: Come on. Let's find out.

Slartucker, Nicothodes, Fatman, and Student of Trinity hurry over the hill. Ephesos is looking at an unconscious Dikiyoba.

Slartucker: What happened?

Ephesos: I only had my back turned for a moment! A moment!

Student of Trinity: It seems that a moment is all the time the thing needs.

Dikiyoba regains consciousness and stands up.

Dikiyoba: Dmknoiygba is fine. At least, Dxtrgrtba thinks that Dbkhgvyfa is fine.

Slartucker looks around nervously.

Slartucker: Clearly, we are no longer safe even in small groups. Do you have enough herbs for a while, Ephesos?

Ephesos: Yes. Let's get out of here.

Slartucker, Nicothodes, Dikiyoba, Fatman, Ephesos, and Student of Trinity exit.