Chapter 4: Volunteers

Chapter 4: Volunteers Dikiyoba Wed, 07/18/2012 - 17:18
Ten minutes later, all the moderators of Spiderweb Software Message Boards were closeted in the Moderator Board: Slarty, Arancaytar, Lilith, Alorael, Ephesos, Randomizer, Tyranicus, Student of Trinity, Dikiyoba.

Randomizer was a short, stocky servile. In the pursuit of raw magical power, he had joined a cult that believed self-abuse and deprivation would bring out one’s true magical potential. The resulting scars gave him a fearsome appearance, but he was actually friendly and helpful, if a bit dull. He preferred fighting with spells, but he was also a decent swordsman and wore a short sword at his side.

Tyranicus was a large human armed with a claymore and javelins. He wore only leather boots, a kilt, and a thick layer of woad on his face and chest. He kept his long hair neatly plaited. Although he was a skilled fighter, he was incredibly unlucky. Enemies were drawn to him and bizarre accidents happened with alarming frequency. Were it not for Spiderweb’s Regeneration Entrance, he would have died a long time ago. Currently he was fidgety. Arancaytar had turned off the machine and completely disconnected it to prevent further hacking attempts. Tyranicus found the absence of the machine’s hum distracting.

Student of Trinity was a middle-aged human with gray hair and a short pepper-and-salt beard. He wore a lab coat over a suit of leather armor. He projected wisdom, common sense, and logic. He was self-assured to the point of arrogance, but it made him unflappable in emergencies. He didn’t like fighting much, preferring to solve problems through debate or technology, but he was decent with a sling and a short sword.

Dikiyoba was a dikiyora with the odd habit of speaking in third person. Dikiyoras were a very rare race that resembled fyoras but were intelligent, slightly larger, and had green scales instead of orange or red. Dikiyoba always wore a yellow baseball cap and a small backpack for potions and other supplies. Dikiyoba had once been Spiderweb’s alchemist but eventually retired because moderator duties took up so much time.

Arancaytar and Ephesos had explained everything they knew. Now a stunned silence filled the conference room. Randomizer finally broke the silence. “What do we do now?”

“I think the first thing we need to do is to get Stareye,” Student of Trinity said.

There was a moment of silence as everyone pondered the implications of this. Stareye was the administrator of Spiderweb Software Message Board, but years of dealing with Spiderweb’s drama had left him prematurely aged. He preferred to leave minor tasks to the moderators now and spent most of his time locked away in his room. He only emerged when a situation became serious enough to require his abilities, and to prevent frivolous complaints he filled his rooms with traps.

“I agree. We should get him right away. Does anyone disagree?” Slarty asked.

No one said anything.

Slarty continued, “Then we need two volunteers to go get him.”

The moderators stared at each other for a split second. Then seven of them said, all at once, “Not me!” Dikiyoba finished three syllables behind and Tyranicus said, “What? Wait, no! We have to do it again, I wasn’t ready!”

“You know the rules, you two were last, so you volunteered,” Randomizer said.

Dikiyoba and Tyranicus stood up to go. Tyranicus muttered something under his breath. Dikiyoba said, “Aw, Dikiyoba always has to volunteer.”