Scene 1: Avernum 4 Forum
Scene 1: Avernum 4 Forum DikiyobaThe Spiderwebbers enter the forum, expecting the noobs to be directly behind them. Ephesos, Slartucker, and Dikiyoba are the last in.
Ephesos: Delicious Vlish is dead.
Arancaytar: I know. I already put him on the list.
Infernal666hate marches up to Zeviz.
Infernal666hate: Here, Zeviz. You can have Demonslayer. I'm using a stick for this battle.
Zeviz takes Demonslayer.
Zeviz: Thanks, Infernal.
Rent-an-Ihrno: This forum is very dark.
Hawk King: All the better for catching the noobs by surprise.
Rent-an-Ihrno: Yes, but they can also catch us by surprise. And it makes it difficult see what we are shooting at.
Wise Man: But on the plus side, our arrows are unlimited.
Silver: I have some maps of the forum. There's a level above and below this one. We should take advantage of that. The exit to the next forum is in the upper level.
Silver passes out maps to everyone. Kelandon takes one and looks at it.
Kelandon: This should be very useful. Me and Imban will...
There is a hideous shriek that sends the Spiderwebbers into mass hysteria. The ur-noob enters the forums at the head of the undead.
Ur-noobs: HERE I AM, SPIDERWEBBERS! YOU CANNOT E...
The ur-noob's speech is interupted by a sneeze.
Ur-noob: ...SCAPE! YOU WILL ALL DIE!
The ur-noob charges forward. All of the Spiderwebber's courage and strategies go straight to the Abyss. They scatter in all directions. Sir David, Zeviz, and Infernal666hate all dodge up the nearest staircase. Seeing this, the ur-noob halts and creates a magic barrier around it, forcing Lazarus and Kingy to run to the next one. Ephesos, Inthrall, and Randomizer dart down a side passage. The ur-noob attempts to block off every staircase and side passage, but the Spiderwebbers find new ones as quickly as the old ones are blocked off. Slartucker and Arancaytar climb down a staircase just as the ur-noob blockades it. Desert Pl@h and FBM run into another side passage. The ur-noob looks at the size of the staircases and side tunnels.
Ur-noob: THIS FORUM IS RATHER SMALLER THAN I EXPECTED! WHY, I ALMOST FEEL CLAUSTROPHOBIC! GOOD THING I CAN TEAR APART ANY OF THESE WALLS! HOWEVER, I CHOOSE NOT TO DO SO YET! UNDEAD, CHASE DOWN THE SPIDERWEBBERS!
The ur-noob waves a claw and all the barriers vanish. The undead pour into the side tunnels and up and down the staircases.
Ur-noob: BRING ME THE BODIES OF THOSE YOU KILL! OH, AND TRY AND TO LEAD A FEW BACK TO ME ALIVE!
In the upper level, Sir David, Kelandon, and the other Spiderwebbers have their bows aimed at the staircases. When the first undead come through, the Spiderwebbers have an easy time shooting them. On the main level, Ephesos, Inthrall, and Randomizer are completely lost in the side passages.
Inthrall: Maybe we should look at the map?
Ephesos: I can't even see the map, let alone be able to read it.
Inthrall: There must be some way to get light. Any ideas, Randomizer?
Randomizer: I don't know a light spell! Wait...who's that?
Inthrall readies his bow as the three of them listen to someone ahead of them. Suddenly, a small fire takes off and lights up the area. Pyro is crouching next to the fire, adding a few more twigs.
Pyro: You wanted light, right?
Ephesos: Yes. Now, let's see the map.
Ephesos pulls out his copy of the map and looks at it for a while. Then he throws it away in disgust.
Inthrall: Well?
Ephesos: We've run through too many passages. This place has more passages than the Honeycomb. I still have no idea where we are. Actually, we could be in the Honeycomb, for all I know.
Randomizer: Someone else is coming.
The undead have finally caught up with the small group. The four Spiderwebbers quickly put the fire between them and the undead. Inthrall and Pyro fire at the undead with their arrows. Ephesos casts repel spirit and Randomizer casts bolt of fire.
Randomizer: You know, using bolt of fire costs less energy and is equally efficient.
Ephesos: Yes, but I'm a priest, not a mage. Besides, I was killing eight undead at a time in the Avernum Trilogy Forum with repel spirit. You were only killing them one at a time.
For a while, the four of them hold the undead off. Then undead come pouring out of another side passage. The four of them are forced to abandon the fire. Inthrall and Pyro flee through one passage. Ephesos and Randomizer flee through another. On the bottom level, Arancaytar and Slartucker are being chased by undead. They pause to fire arrows back at the undead. Or at least, they fire arrows back at where they think the undead are, since it too dark to actually see them. Back on the top level, the undead finally find a staircase that isn't covered by archers. The Spiderwebbers are forced to retreat. Most turn and run for the exit. However, some take a wrong turn in the dark, twisting passages and get lost. Zeviz is one such member. After realizing his mistake, he turns to go back, only to find his path barred by undead. He casts bolt of fire several times and then runs off again. Not too far away, Wise Man and Lazarus are also lost and cut off by noobs. They pause to shoot in the direction of the undead and then run around the corner. Zeviz mistakes their approach for the approach of more undead and casts bolt of fire. The bolt illuminates the scene briefly as it hits Wise Man.
Zeviz: Oops.
Unfortunately, Wise Man release his bow, still loaded with an arrow. The arrow flies and hits Zeviz. Wise Man and Zeviz both die. Lazarus looks at the bodies and then looks down both passages. He can hear the undead coming from both sides. Just before the undead round the corners, he falls flat and plays dead. He stays perfectly still as an undead trips over him. He stays perfectly still as the undead snarl and growl. He barely manages to stay still as the undead pick him and the bodies of Wise Man and Zeviz up and carry them off. On the main level, Pyro and Inthrall have a pack of undead right on them as they run down a tunnel. Suddenly, they run straight into solid rock. Pyro feels around for another passage while Inthrall holds the undead off with his sword.
Pyro: Please tell me there is a secret passage here somewhere!
Inthrall has the sword clawed from his hand. He puts all the charm and charisma he can into one last attempt to get the undead to back off.
Inthrall: Halt! Stay ba... yaaah!
The undead take no notice and hurl themselves on him and Pyro. When they are both dead, the undead pick up their bodies and carry them back to the ur-noob. They arrive at about the same time that other undead arrive with Lazarus and the bodies of Zeviz and Wise Man. The ur-noob hardly notices; its attention in focused on a small side tunnel. It can clearly see something with its superb vision. Once the undead depart, Lazarus begins to crawl away as quietly as possible. The ur-noob doesn't notice. Its attention is still on the passage. Ephesos and Randomizer come running out of the tunnel.
Randomizer: Wait! We're back in the main cave. That means...
Randomizer yells as the ur-noob snaps him up and bites him in half with its mighty jaws. Ephesos is knocked to the ground. He scrambles up as the ur-noob swallows. The ur-noob picks him up between with two claws.
Ephesos: Divine retribution!
As he yells, he points at the ur-noob and puts all his spell energy into the spell. A cloud of fire hits the ur-noob in the face. The ur-noob laughs and drops Ephesos into its mouth. Then the ur-noob spits him out.
Ur-noob: DISGUSTING! HE TASTES... GOOD! ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!
The ur-noob spits again to rid itself of the taste. Ephesos manages to get back up and run for the nearest side passage. Before he can reach it, he steps into a pit and falls to the bottom, where he lapses into unconsciousness. The ur-noob reaches a claw down in after him, but the pit narrows before the ur-noob can reach him. The ur-noob attempts to pull its hand out, only to discover that its hand is stuck. As the ur-noob alternately attempts to wrench its hand free and grab Ephesos, it shrieks at the undead.
Ur-noob: FIND ANOTHER WAY DOWN AND KILL HIM, YOU IDIOTS!
In the confusion, Lazarus hops up and runs off without anyone noticing. The undead obey the ur-noobs commands and rush down to the lower level any way they can. On the lower level, Arancaytar and Slartucker have finally managed to throw the undead following them off their trail. They halt suddenly.
Arancaytar: (Whispers.) What's that ahead?
Slartucker: (Whispers.) It's hard to tell, but it looks like the ur-noob's hand. What's it trying to reach for?
Arancaytar: (Whispers.) I'll find out.
Arancaytar ducks low and walks forward. Slartucker follows after a moment.
Arancaytar: (Whispers.) It's Ephesos.
Slartucker: (Whispers.) Is he dead?
Arancaytar: (Whispers.) No, he's still alive. Just unconscious. Help me carry him.
Slartucker: (Whispers.) Yuck. He's covered in something slimy.
Slartucker and Arancaytar carry Ephesos away from the ur-noob. Suddenly, they hear more undead coming towards them.
Arancaytar: Now what do we do?
Slartucker: There's an opening over there.
Arancaytar and Slartucker, still carrying Ephesos, duck into the opening, which turns out to be only a small cave.
Slartucker: (Whispers.) Wait! There's someone already in here!
Dikiyoba: Dikiyoba says hello.
Arancaytar: Shh! The undead will hear us!
The undead miss the cave entrance and mill about in the main passage. Slartucker, Arancaytar, and Dikiyoba wait anxiously, hardly daring to breathe. Suddenly, a loud, high-pitched voice breaks the silence.
GIFTS: Hi! You're cute!
Ephesos: Delicious Vlish is dead.
Arancaytar: I know. I already put him on the list.
Infernal666hate marches up to Zeviz.
Infernal666hate: Here, Zeviz. You can have Demonslayer. I'm using a stick for this battle.
Zeviz takes Demonslayer.
Zeviz: Thanks, Infernal.
Rent-an-Ihrno: This forum is very dark.
Hawk King: All the better for catching the noobs by surprise.
Rent-an-Ihrno: Yes, but they can also catch us by surprise. And it makes it difficult see what we are shooting at.
Wise Man: But on the plus side, our arrows are unlimited.
Silver: I have some maps of the forum. There's a level above and below this one. We should take advantage of that. The exit to the next forum is in the upper level.
Silver passes out maps to everyone. Kelandon takes one and looks at it.
Kelandon: This should be very useful. Me and Imban will...
There is a hideous shriek that sends the Spiderwebbers into mass hysteria. The ur-noob enters the forums at the head of the undead.
Ur-noobs: HERE I AM, SPIDERWEBBERS! YOU CANNOT E...
The ur-noob's speech is interupted by a sneeze.
Ur-noob: ...SCAPE! YOU WILL ALL DIE!
The ur-noob charges forward. All of the Spiderwebber's courage and strategies go straight to the Abyss. They scatter in all directions. Sir David, Zeviz, and Infernal666hate all dodge up the nearest staircase. Seeing this, the ur-noob halts and creates a magic barrier around it, forcing Lazarus and Kingy to run to the next one. Ephesos, Inthrall, and Randomizer dart down a side passage. The ur-noob attempts to block off every staircase and side passage, but the Spiderwebbers find new ones as quickly as the old ones are blocked off. Slartucker and Arancaytar climb down a staircase just as the ur-noob blockades it. Desert Pl@h and FBM run into another side passage. The ur-noob looks at the size of the staircases and side tunnels.
Ur-noob: THIS FORUM IS RATHER SMALLER THAN I EXPECTED! WHY, I ALMOST FEEL CLAUSTROPHOBIC! GOOD THING I CAN TEAR APART ANY OF THESE WALLS! HOWEVER, I CHOOSE NOT TO DO SO YET! UNDEAD, CHASE DOWN THE SPIDERWEBBERS!
The ur-noob waves a claw and all the barriers vanish. The undead pour into the side tunnels and up and down the staircases.
Ur-noob: BRING ME THE BODIES OF THOSE YOU KILL! OH, AND TRY AND TO LEAD A FEW BACK TO ME ALIVE!
In the upper level, Sir David, Kelandon, and the other Spiderwebbers have their bows aimed at the staircases. When the first undead come through, the Spiderwebbers have an easy time shooting them. On the main level, Ephesos, Inthrall, and Randomizer are completely lost in the side passages.
Inthrall: Maybe we should look at the map?
Ephesos: I can't even see the map, let alone be able to read it.
Inthrall: There must be some way to get light. Any ideas, Randomizer?
Randomizer: I don't know a light spell! Wait...who's that?
Inthrall readies his bow as the three of them listen to someone ahead of them. Suddenly, a small fire takes off and lights up the area. Pyro is crouching next to the fire, adding a few more twigs.
Pyro: You wanted light, right?
Ephesos: Yes. Now, let's see the map.
Ephesos pulls out his copy of the map and looks at it for a while. Then he throws it away in disgust.
Inthrall: Well?
Ephesos: We've run through too many passages. This place has more passages than the Honeycomb. I still have no idea where we are. Actually, we could be in the Honeycomb, for all I know.
Randomizer: Someone else is coming.
The undead have finally caught up with the small group. The four Spiderwebbers quickly put the fire between them and the undead. Inthrall and Pyro fire at the undead with their arrows. Ephesos casts repel spirit and Randomizer casts bolt of fire.
Randomizer: You know, using bolt of fire costs less energy and is equally efficient.
Ephesos: Yes, but I'm a priest, not a mage. Besides, I was killing eight undead at a time in the Avernum Trilogy Forum with repel spirit. You were only killing them one at a time.
For a while, the four of them hold the undead off. Then undead come pouring out of another side passage. The four of them are forced to abandon the fire. Inthrall and Pyro flee through one passage. Ephesos and Randomizer flee through another. On the bottom level, Arancaytar and Slartucker are being chased by undead. They pause to fire arrows back at the undead. Or at least, they fire arrows back at where they think the undead are, since it too dark to actually see them. Back on the top level, the undead finally find a staircase that isn't covered by archers. The Spiderwebbers are forced to retreat. Most turn and run for the exit. However, some take a wrong turn in the dark, twisting passages and get lost. Zeviz is one such member. After realizing his mistake, he turns to go back, only to find his path barred by undead. He casts bolt of fire several times and then runs off again. Not too far away, Wise Man and Lazarus are also lost and cut off by noobs. They pause to shoot in the direction of the undead and then run around the corner. Zeviz mistakes their approach for the approach of more undead and casts bolt of fire. The bolt illuminates the scene briefly as it hits Wise Man.
Zeviz: Oops.
Unfortunately, Wise Man release his bow, still loaded with an arrow. The arrow flies and hits Zeviz. Wise Man and Zeviz both die. Lazarus looks at the bodies and then looks down both passages. He can hear the undead coming from both sides. Just before the undead round the corners, he falls flat and plays dead. He stays perfectly still as an undead trips over him. He stays perfectly still as the undead snarl and growl. He barely manages to stay still as the undead pick him and the bodies of Wise Man and Zeviz up and carry them off. On the main level, Pyro and Inthrall have a pack of undead right on them as they run down a tunnel. Suddenly, they run straight into solid rock. Pyro feels around for another passage while Inthrall holds the undead off with his sword.
Pyro: Please tell me there is a secret passage here somewhere!
Inthrall has the sword clawed from his hand. He puts all the charm and charisma he can into one last attempt to get the undead to back off.
Inthrall: Halt! Stay ba... yaaah!
The undead take no notice and hurl themselves on him and Pyro. When they are both dead, the undead pick up their bodies and carry them back to the ur-noob. They arrive at about the same time that other undead arrive with Lazarus and the bodies of Zeviz and Wise Man. The ur-noob hardly notices; its attention in focused on a small side tunnel. It can clearly see something with its superb vision. Once the undead depart, Lazarus begins to crawl away as quietly as possible. The ur-noob doesn't notice. Its attention is still on the passage. Ephesos and Randomizer come running out of the tunnel.
Randomizer: Wait! We're back in the main cave. That means...
Randomizer yells as the ur-noob snaps him up and bites him in half with its mighty jaws. Ephesos is knocked to the ground. He scrambles up as the ur-noob swallows. The ur-noob picks him up between with two claws.
Ephesos: Divine retribution!
As he yells, he points at the ur-noob and puts all his spell energy into the spell. A cloud of fire hits the ur-noob in the face. The ur-noob laughs and drops Ephesos into its mouth. Then the ur-noob spits him out.
Ur-noob: DISGUSTING! HE TASTES... GOOD! ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!
The ur-noob spits again to rid itself of the taste. Ephesos manages to get back up and run for the nearest side passage. Before he can reach it, he steps into a pit and falls to the bottom, where he lapses into unconsciousness. The ur-noob reaches a claw down in after him, but the pit narrows before the ur-noob can reach him. The ur-noob attempts to pull its hand out, only to discover that its hand is stuck. As the ur-noob alternately attempts to wrench its hand free and grab Ephesos, it shrieks at the undead.
Ur-noob: FIND ANOTHER WAY DOWN AND KILL HIM, YOU IDIOTS!
In the confusion, Lazarus hops up and runs off without anyone noticing. The undead obey the ur-noobs commands and rush down to the lower level any way they can. On the lower level, Arancaytar and Slartucker have finally managed to throw the undead following them off their trail. They halt suddenly.
Arancaytar: (Whispers.) What's that ahead?
Slartucker: (Whispers.) It's hard to tell, but it looks like the ur-noob's hand. What's it trying to reach for?
Arancaytar: (Whispers.) I'll find out.
Arancaytar ducks low and walks forward. Slartucker follows after a moment.
Arancaytar: (Whispers.) It's Ephesos.
Slartucker: (Whispers.) Is he dead?
Arancaytar: (Whispers.) No, he's still alive. Just unconscious. Help me carry him.
Slartucker: (Whispers.) Yuck. He's covered in something slimy.
Slartucker and Arancaytar carry Ephesos away from the ur-noob. Suddenly, they hear more undead coming towards them.
Arancaytar: Now what do we do?
Slartucker: There's an opening over there.
Arancaytar and Slartucker, still carrying Ephesos, duck into the opening, which turns out to be only a small cave.
Slartucker: (Whispers.) Wait! There's someone already in here!
Dikiyoba: Dikiyoba says hello.
Arancaytar: Shh! The undead will hear us!
The undead miss the cave entrance and mill about in the main passage. Slartucker, Arancaytar, and Dikiyoba wait anxiously, hardly daring to breathe. Suddenly, a loud, high-pitched voice breaks the silence.
GIFTS: Hi! You're cute!