Scene 2: General Forum
Scene 2: General Forum
All of the newbs stand in a long line. Arancaytar is handing each one a copy of the Code of Conduct. Kelandon is inspecting each one closely.
Kelandon: You look good. Excellent, excellent. Ah! You there! Arghhhhhhhhh, what do you have to say for yourself?
Arghhhhhhhhh: this is a good fanatasy just like eragon and dragonlance i like fanatasys
Kelandon: You're a noob! Take him away! Ban his account!
Arghhhhhhhhh: arghhhhhhhhhh! ive been banned!
Arghhhhhhhhh disappears in a cloud of smoke.
Kelandon: Next! Well, you look fine. No blemishes on your account. Of course, you haven't ever posted. And you look fine too. Just came here for technical help? Sorry about all this. Shaper Lord, what do you have to say for yourself?
Shaper Lord: This forum is stupid. I don't see why anyone would waste their time attacking it, let alone defending it.
Kelandon: Well, you don't have to. But you won't get any more chances to insult it, either.
Shaper Lord disappears in a cloud of smoke. Drakefyre enters.
Drakefyre: Well, Jeff has escaped to create more games. Hopefully, the plots are better than Avernum 4.
Arancaytar: Great! All the newbs have been given a copy of the Code of Conduct. I'm going to go see if I can entice some of the lurkers out of the shadows.
Arancaytar exits.
Kelandon: Good, good. Nothing wrong with you. You, learn to spell. Otherwise, it's good. Hey! You're that crazy Minotaur guy!
I_am_a_Minotaur: Yes! I am a Minotaur! Soon, a horde of minotaurs will come...
Kelandon: Good-bye, I_am_a_Minotaur.
I_am_a_Minotaur disappears in a cloud of smoke.
Drakefyre: Wait a minute... since when did you have the ability to ban people?
Kelandon: Ever since you gave me my custom title.
Drakefyre: Oh. (Long pause.) Well, you seem to have everything under control. I'm off to the SubTerra Forum.
Drakefyre exits.
Kelandon: You look fine. So do you. Zephyr Tempest, what are you doing here?
Zephyr Tempest: As I was canned, I thought that I should...
Kelandon: No, you've been cleared. Go join the others.
Zephyr Tempest: Really? Woo hoo!
Zephyr Tempest runs out.
Kelandon: You look good. You haven't posted. You, I'm not so sure of. I'll let you stay for now. Be sure that you behave yourself.
Arancaytar enters.
Arancaytar: I can't get any lurkers to join us. I had one come out, but he promptly disappeared again.
Kelandon: Not surprising, Aran. I'm down to the final newb... Ed.
Ed: Yes, it is me. I have returned. What are you going to do about it, you silly cucumber?
Kelandon: I think I'll ban you.
Ed: No, you won't. I'm leaving. But I'll be back when you don't expect it.
Ed runs out.
Arancaytar: How can he come back when we don't expect it if we always expect it?
Kelandon: I'll get him when he comes back. Arancaytar, you take charge of the newbs. I'm going to see if I can find Lenar Labs. He's the only one who can translate for the Silent Assassin. I suspect the Silent Assassin will be able to encourage the lurkers to fight.
Arancaytar: What am I supposed to do with the newbs while you're away? I'm not a moderator.
Kelandon: You'll think of something.
Kelandon exits.
Arancaytar: Uh...hello, newbs. What should I do about you all? (Long pause.) Hmm...I got it. You there, go fetch blue paint. Lots and lots of blue paint. The rest of you, start stripping.
Kelandon: You look good. Excellent, excellent. Ah! You there! Arghhhhhhhhh, what do you have to say for yourself?
Arghhhhhhhhh: this is a good fanatasy just like eragon and dragonlance i like fanatasys
Kelandon: You're a noob! Take him away! Ban his account!
Arghhhhhhhhh: arghhhhhhhhhh! ive been banned!
Arghhhhhhhhh disappears in a cloud of smoke.
Kelandon: Next! Well, you look fine. No blemishes on your account. Of course, you haven't ever posted. And you look fine too. Just came here for technical help? Sorry about all this. Shaper Lord, what do you have to say for yourself?
Shaper Lord: This forum is stupid. I don't see why anyone would waste their time attacking it, let alone defending it.
Kelandon: Well, you don't have to. But you won't get any more chances to insult it, either.
Shaper Lord disappears in a cloud of smoke. Drakefyre enters.
Drakefyre: Well, Jeff has escaped to create more games. Hopefully, the plots are better than Avernum 4.
Arancaytar: Great! All the newbs have been given a copy of the Code of Conduct. I'm going to go see if I can entice some of the lurkers out of the shadows.
Arancaytar exits.
Kelandon: Good, good. Nothing wrong with you. You, learn to spell. Otherwise, it's good. Hey! You're that crazy Minotaur guy!
I_am_a_Minotaur: Yes! I am a Minotaur! Soon, a horde of minotaurs will come...
Kelandon: Good-bye, I_am_a_Minotaur.
I_am_a_Minotaur disappears in a cloud of smoke.
Drakefyre: Wait a minute... since when did you have the ability to ban people?
Kelandon: Ever since you gave me my custom title.
Drakefyre: Oh. (Long pause.) Well, you seem to have everything under control. I'm off to the SubTerra Forum.
Drakefyre exits.
Kelandon: You look fine. So do you. Zephyr Tempest, what are you doing here?
Zephyr Tempest: As I was canned, I thought that I should...
Kelandon: No, you've been cleared. Go join the others.
Zephyr Tempest: Really? Woo hoo!
Zephyr Tempest runs out.
Kelandon: You look good. You haven't posted. You, I'm not so sure of. I'll let you stay for now. Be sure that you behave yourself.
Arancaytar enters.
Arancaytar: I can't get any lurkers to join us. I had one come out, but he promptly disappeared again.
Kelandon: Not surprising, Aran. I'm down to the final newb... Ed.
Ed: Yes, it is me. I have returned. What are you going to do about it, you silly cucumber?
Kelandon: I think I'll ban you.
Ed: No, you won't. I'm leaving. But I'll be back when you don't expect it.
Ed runs out.
Arancaytar: How can he come back when we don't expect it if we always expect it?
Kelandon: I'll get him when he comes back. Arancaytar, you take charge of the newbs. I'm going to see if I can find Lenar Labs. He's the only one who can translate for the Silent Assassin. I suspect the Silent Assassin will be able to encourage the lurkers to fight.
Arancaytar: What am I supposed to do with the newbs while you're away? I'm not a moderator.
Kelandon: You'll think of something.
Kelandon exits.
Arancaytar: Uh...hello, newbs. What should I do about you all? (Long pause.) Hmm...I got it. You there, go fetch blue paint. Lots and lots of blue paint. The rest of you, start stripping.