Scene 1: Tech Support Forum
Scene 1: Tech Support Forum
Saunders and the Almighty Do-er of Stuff stand close to the exit to the General Forum. The fluffy turtles are hidden under the beds, in the cupboards, and just about everywhere else. Only a single baby fluffy turtle is out in the open. It tries to nibble on Saunder's foot, only to be startled off every time that Saunders or the Almighty Do-er of Stuff move. The ur-noob enters the forum. It draws itself up to its full height, spreads its wings wide, and promptly hits its head on the low forum header.
Ur-noob: OW! SO, TWO MORE SPIDERWEBBERS! WITH WHAT PATHETIC TRAP WILL YOU TRY TO STOP ME WITH THIS TIME?
As the ur-noob speaks, the noob army enters the forum. Saunders and the Almighty Do-er of Stuff shift nervously, causing the baby fluffy turtle to run away again.
Ur-noob: WHAT IS THAT?
Almighty Do-er of Stuff: It's a baby fluffy turtle.
Saunders: You forgot to leave your sanity at the door.
The fluffy turtles dash out of their hiding places and attack the noobs. It's not a particularily fast dash, but it's surprisingly speedy for turtles. Inspector Peanut bites the first noob and begins eating his sanity. Soon, the entire forum has turned into a fluffy feeding frenzy. Even the baby fluffy turtle rushes in and begins killing noobs. For a moment, the ur-noob looks worried.
Ur-noob: WHAT! HOW CAN THEY BE SO DANGEROUS?
The ur-noob suddenly breaks into a sneezing and coughing fit. Almighty Do-er of Stuff and Saunders watch the ur-noob carefully. The ur-noob's scales are cracked and starting to peel off. It glows strongly but somehow the glow seems unstable. But when the ur-noob recovers from its fit, it sniffs and glares at the two of them with red-tinted, vengeful eyes.
Ur-noob: I'LL KI...
The ur-noob breaks off and starts coughing and sneezing again.
Almighty Do-er of Stuff: It's weakening! We may be able to kill it after all!
Inspector Peanut kills a 1337 h4x0r and begins eating its sanity as well. The ur-noob finally recovers enough to charge forward. It breathes fire at the fluffy turtles, catching many of them on fire. It incinerates many noobs as well. As the fluffy turtles rush about, they bump into each other, catching other fluffy turtles on fire as well. Inspector Peanut steps forward and bites the ur-noob on the foot. Hard. The ur-noob screeches and stomps on Inspector Peanut, cracking its shell.
Almighty Do-er of Stuff: No! Inspector Peanut!
The Almighty Do-er of Stuff runs forward and kneels at Inspector Peanut's side.
Saunders: ADoS, no!
Inspector Peanut dies. The Almighty Do-er of Stuff looks shaken.
Almighty Do-er of Stuff: No... Inspector Peanut... you can't be dead.
Saunders: Look out!
The ur-noob's foot comes down on the Almighty Do-er of Stuff as well. He dies. The ur-noob lunges towards Saunders. The rest of the fluffy turtles attack the ur-noob. Saunders exits. The ur-noob flails around for a while, trying to get the twenty or so fluffy turtles attacking off of it. Fluff and scales fly everywhere. Eventually, the ur-noob manages to overcome them all. Panting heavily, it looks around. Many noobs, undead, and 1337 h4x0rs were killed by the fluffy turtles. The ur-noob can't believe how small its army has become. However, the ur-noob is more concerned about itself.
Ur-noob: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! I'M HURT!
The ur-noob casts a quick healing spell on itself. The cuts heal. However, the new skin looks oddly distorted. The ur-noob starts to cough again. After several minutes, it finally stops.
Ur-noob: COME, NOOBS! TO THE FINAL FORUM! VICTORY WILL BE OURS!
Ur-noob: OW! SO, TWO MORE SPIDERWEBBERS! WITH WHAT PATHETIC TRAP WILL YOU TRY TO STOP ME WITH THIS TIME?
As the ur-noob speaks, the noob army enters the forum. Saunders and the Almighty Do-er of Stuff shift nervously, causing the baby fluffy turtle to run away again.
Ur-noob: WHAT IS THAT?
Almighty Do-er of Stuff: It's a baby fluffy turtle.
Saunders: You forgot to leave your sanity at the door.
The fluffy turtles dash out of their hiding places and attack the noobs. It's not a particularily fast dash, but it's surprisingly speedy for turtles. Inspector Peanut bites the first noob and begins eating his sanity. Soon, the entire forum has turned into a fluffy feeding frenzy. Even the baby fluffy turtle rushes in and begins killing noobs. For a moment, the ur-noob looks worried.
Ur-noob: WHAT! HOW CAN THEY BE SO DANGEROUS?
The ur-noob suddenly breaks into a sneezing and coughing fit. Almighty Do-er of Stuff and Saunders watch the ur-noob carefully. The ur-noob's scales are cracked and starting to peel off. It glows strongly but somehow the glow seems unstable. But when the ur-noob recovers from its fit, it sniffs and glares at the two of them with red-tinted, vengeful eyes.
Ur-noob: I'LL KI...
The ur-noob breaks off and starts coughing and sneezing again.
Almighty Do-er of Stuff: It's weakening! We may be able to kill it after all!
Inspector Peanut kills a 1337 h4x0r and begins eating its sanity as well. The ur-noob finally recovers enough to charge forward. It breathes fire at the fluffy turtles, catching many of them on fire. It incinerates many noobs as well. As the fluffy turtles rush about, they bump into each other, catching other fluffy turtles on fire as well. Inspector Peanut steps forward and bites the ur-noob on the foot. Hard. The ur-noob screeches and stomps on Inspector Peanut, cracking its shell.
Almighty Do-er of Stuff: No! Inspector Peanut!
The Almighty Do-er of Stuff runs forward and kneels at Inspector Peanut's side.
Saunders: ADoS, no!
Inspector Peanut dies. The Almighty Do-er of Stuff looks shaken.
Almighty Do-er of Stuff: No... Inspector Peanut... you can't be dead.
Saunders: Look out!
The ur-noob's foot comes down on the Almighty Do-er of Stuff as well. He dies. The ur-noob lunges towards Saunders. The rest of the fluffy turtles attack the ur-noob. Saunders exits. The ur-noob flails around for a while, trying to get the twenty or so fluffy turtles attacking off of it. Fluff and scales fly everywhere. Eventually, the ur-noob manages to overcome them all. Panting heavily, it looks around. Many noobs, undead, and 1337 h4x0rs were killed by the fluffy turtles. The ur-noob can't believe how small its army has become. However, the ur-noob is more concerned about itself.
Ur-noob: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! I'M HURT!
The ur-noob casts a quick healing spell on itself. The cuts heal. However, the new skin looks oddly distorted. The ur-noob starts to cough again. After several minutes, it finally stops.
Ur-noob: COME, NOOBS! TO THE FINAL FORUM! VICTORY WILL BE OURS!