Scene 1: SubTerra Forum
Scene 1: SubTerra Forum
Most of the more prominent members are standing in ranks. *i is stands in front of the ranked masses, waiting for the first noob to appear. Alorael is sitting atop a huge boulder, holding his rifle and guzzling a skribbane potion in a leisurely way. Zephyr Tempest is hopping up and down excitedly.
Zephyr Tempest: Can you see them? Can you see them?
*i: Alorael, scan for noobs! Schrodinger, put that walkthrough away.
Schrodinger: Sorry.
Alorael, who stands up and looks around: I see them! The noobs are coming! Yeehaw!
Alorael drinks another skribbane potion and readies his rifle.
*i: Don't charge yet...
Thralni: I think I should translate "noob" into nephilian.
Slartucker: Why?
Thralni: So I can yell "Death to the noobs!" when I charge.
An army of noobs appear on the horizon. They look like mindless zombies, except that they aren't dead. And they have significantly less brains, as well.
Ephesos: Gah! They look like undead. I hate undead. I really, really, really...
Tyranicus: We know, Ephesos.
Alorael: They're on foot! They're pedestrians!
Alorael begins firing wildly at the noobs. Many noobs fall, but the rest keep coming forward mindlessly.
*i: Show them no mercy, Spiderwebbers. Charge!
Nicothodes and Sherbiebaby dash past *i to lead the charge. Once they reach the front lines, they begin stabbing the noobs with pens. Terror's Martyr begins crushing noobs with devastating one-line personal attacks. Actually, the insults really aren't that insulting, just stupid. But since the noobs are too stupid to realize that, they simply collapse. Archmage Alex has a horde of stick figures guarding him as he draws cartoons. Mailboxes, barrels of spam, and two-tailed cows fall from the sky to crush countless noobs. Alorael is still sniping at the noobs.
Alorael: Woo hoo! I love this!
Alorael drinks another skribbane potion. Meanwhile, Nikki is fighting his way towards Nicothodes. Suddenly, Synergy appears at his side.
Nikki: What are you doing here?
Synergy: Don't ask. Aww, aren't Nicothodes and her friend so cute?
Up ahead, Nicothodes and Sherbiebaby are clearly enjoying themselves.
Nicothodes: This is so much fun. This is much better than stabbing each other.
Sherbiebaby: Yeah, I agree. We should do this more often. Take that, noob!
Sherbiebaby stabs a noob.
Nicothodes: And there's no shortage of noobs in the world. There might be after we're through with them, though.
A noob shambles up and reaches for Nicothodes.
Noob: lol 1337 lol woot
Nicothodes: Die!
The noob dies.
Sherbiebaby: Ha ha.
Synergy and Nikki arrive.
Synergy: Hi. We're here to join you. The two of you are just so cute.
Nicothodes stabs another noob moodily.
Nicothodes: Sure, whatever. Sherbie, get that noob sneaking past you.
Sherbiebaby stabs the noob, then circles around to stab another. Nicothodes dispatches two noobs with one stab.
Synergy: Oh, that was so cute.
Nicothodes: I can't take it any more! No cookies for you!
Nicothodes stabs Synergy.
Synergy: It's so cute the way you stabbed me... urg.
Synergy dies.
Nicothodes: And that goes for anyone else too. I refuse to be called cute ever again!
Nikki: Uh... Nico?
Nicothodes stabs another noob.
Nicothodes: What?
Nikki: Do you have a spare pen?
Nicothodes: Oh, sure. I carry no less than seven pens with me at all times. Die, noob!
Nicothodes kills another noob and then hands Nikki a pen.
Nicothodes: Here you go.
Sherbiebaby: And here's a spare, in case something happens to the first.
Sherbiebaby hands Nikki a pen as well. Nikki stabs his first noob.
Noob: urg i ben wounded
Nicothodes: Don't be so hesitant. Just kill them. Like this.
Nicothodes kills the wounded noob.
Nikki: Okay. Like this?
Nikki kills a noob.
Sherbiebaby: Yeah, you got it. Let's try dual-wielding now.
The three of them charge deeper into the pack of noobs, all three wielding two pens. Meanwhile, Delicious Vlish is terrifying noobs with his mighty tentacles. Sir David is lighting noobs on fire and watching them run around shrieking. Drakefyre is handing noobs mysterious, unlabled bottles and telling them to drink the contents. MagmaDragoon is using a flaming sword to kill noobs. Ben4808 is writing a script that sucks noobs into a swirling vortex. Alorael drinks yet another skribbane potion and fires on more noobs. But the noobs are slowly starting to push the Spiderwebbers back.
Zephyr Tempest: Can you see them? Can you see them?
*i: Alorael, scan for noobs! Schrodinger, put that walkthrough away.
Schrodinger: Sorry.
Alorael, who stands up and looks around: I see them! The noobs are coming! Yeehaw!
Alorael drinks another skribbane potion and readies his rifle.
*i: Don't charge yet...
Thralni: I think I should translate "noob" into nephilian.
Slartucker: Why?
Thralni: So I can yell "Death to the noobs!" when I charge.
An army of noobs appear on the horizon. They look like mindless zombies, except that they aren't dead. And they have significantly less brains, as well.
Ephesos: Gah! They look like undead. I hate undead. I really, really, really...
Tyranicus: We know, Ephesos.
Alorael: They're on foot! They're pedestrians!
Alorael begins firing wildly at the noobs. Many noobs fall, but the rest keep coming forward mindlessly.
*i: Show them no mercy, Spiderwebbers. Charge!
Nicothodes and Sherbiebaby dash past *i to lead the charge. Once they reach the front lines, they begin stabbing the noobs with pens. Terror's Martyr begins crushing noobs with devastating one-line personal attacks. Actually, the insults really aren't that insulting, just stupid. But since the noobs are too stupid to realize that, they simply collapse. Archmage Alex has a horde of stick figures guarding him as he draws cartoons. Mailboxes, barrels of spam, and two-tailed cows fall from the sky to crush countless noobs. Alorael is still sniping at the noobs.
Alorael: Woo hoo! I love this!
Alorael drinks another skribbane potion. Meanwhile, Nikki is fighting his way towards Nicothodes. Suddenly, Synergy appears at his side.
Nikki: What are you doing here?
Synergy: Don't ask. Aww, aren't Nicothodes and her friend so cute?
Up ahead, Nicothodes and Sherbiebaby are clearly enjoying themselves.
Nicothodes: This is so much fun. This is much better than stabbing each other.
Sherbiebaby: Yeah, I agree. We should do this more often. Take that, noob!
Sherbiebaby stabs a noob.
Nicothodes: And there's no shortage of noobs in the world. There might be after we're through with them, though.
A noob shambles up and reaches for Nicothodes.
Noob: lol 1337 lol woot
Nicothodes: Die!
The noob dies.
Sherbiebaby: Ha ha.
Synergy and Nikki arrive.
Synergy: Hi. We're here to join you. The two of you are just so cute.
Nicothodes stabs another noob moodily.
Nicothodes: Sure, whatever. Sherbie, get that noob sneaking past you.
Sherbiebaby stabs the noob, then circles around to stab another. Nicothodes dispatches two noobs with one stab.
Synergy: Oh, that was so cute.
Nicothodes: I can't take it any more! No cookies for you!
Nicothodes stabs Synergy.
Synergy: It's so cute the way you stabbed me... urg.
Synergy dies.
Nicothodes: And that goes for anyone else too. I refuse to be called cute ever again!
Nikki: Uh... Nico?
Nicothodes stabs another noob.
Nicothodes: What?
Nikki: Do you have a spare pen?
Nicothodes: Oh, sure. I carry no less than seven pens with me at all times. Die, noob!
Nicothodes kills another noob and then hands Nikki a pen.
Nicothodes: Here you go.
Sherbiebaby: And here's a spare, in case something happens to the first.
Sherbiebaby hands Nikki a pen as well. Nikki stabs his first noob.
Noob: urg i ben wounded
Nicothodes: Don't be so hesitant. Just kill them. Like this.
Nicothodes kills the wounded noob.
Nikki: Okay. Like this?
Nikki kills a noob.
Sherbiebaby: Yeah, you got it. Let's try dual-wielding now.
The three of them charge deeper into the pack of noobs, all three wielding two pens. Meanwhile, Delicious Vlish is terrifying noobs with his mighty tentacles. Sir David is lighting noobs on fire and watching them run around shrieking. Drakefyre is handing noobs mysterious, unlabled bottles and telling them to drink the contents. MagmaDragoon is using a flaming sword to kill noobs. Ben4808 is writing a script that sucks noobs into a swirling vortex. Alorael drinks yet another skribbane potion and fires on more noobs. But the noobs are slowly starting to push the Spiderwebbers back.