Scene 3: Exile Trilogy Forum
Scene 3: Exile Trilogy Forum
Drakefyre chases after Spawner and Pyroroamer. They have a good lead, but Drakefyre is rapidly closing in on them.
Spawner: Help us, your Noobness!
Drakefyre comes to an abrupt halt.
Drakefyre: The ur-noob? Here? You mean it's not a true Bob?
Drakefyre turns and runs away. Spawner aims another bolt at him, but misses. Drakefyre yells as he runs.
Drakefyre: Ban you! Ban you both!
Drakefyre exits. Spawner runs up to the ur-noob.
Spawner: We led an administator right to you! Why didn't you smush him?
The ur-noob's scales look dull and it is sitting slumped over as if exhausted. The ur-noob shakes its head and stares at Spawner. The ur-noob may look a little ill, but the eyes are still bright and dangerous. Spawner takes a step back.
Ur-noob: ARE YOU QUESTIONING ME, SPAWNER?
Spawner: No! Of course not, your Noobness! It's just that, sometimes, your vast wisdom and diabolic plans are above my intelligence, your Noobness.
Ur-noob: THEN YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I LET HIM GO BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT!
The ur-noob suddenly sneezes. The huge jet of flame that results sets most of the forum on fire.
Spawner: What is it, your Noobness?
Ur-noob: NOTHING! JUST A LITTLE COLD, THAT'S ALL! NOW, GO BACK TO THE BATTLE!
Spawner: Before we go, your Noobness, there's just one little thing I want to tell you.
Ur-noob: WHAT IS IT?
Spawner: It was that administrator who helped Jeff escape. That's why we were luring him to you.
Pyroroamer: (Whispers) I thought we were running for our lives.
Spawner: (Whispers) We were, but the ur-noob doesn't know that.
The ur-noob rears up to its full height and roars.
Ur-noob: WHAT! CAPTAINS, WE GO TO THE AVERNUM TRILOGY FORUM NOW! KILL EVERYONE ELSE, BUT KEEP THAT ADMINISTRATOR ALIVE! HE'S MINE!
The ur-noob charges out of the forum. Spawner and Pyroroamer hesitate.
Pyroroamer: How did you know that he was the one who helped Jeff escape?
Spawner: I didn't. I made it up.
Pyroroamer: But why?
Spawner: To end this battle with a decisive victory.
Pyroroamer: You are truly loyal to the ur-noob then?
Spawner: Don't be silly. Loyalty to the ur-noob will only get you killed.
Pyroroamer: Then why don't we slip off right now? I'll round up the last of my flamers and you can gather the brightest noobs and 1337 h4x0rs. We'll find an easier message board to conquer and rule it.
Spawner: We can't. The barrier that the ur-noob put up to keep the Spiderwebbers from leaving blocks us as well.
Pyroroamer: So what do you propose we do?
Spawner: Exactly what I have set in motion. Allow the ur-noobs and the brainless spammers to kill off all the Spiderwebbers while we stay alive. After the battle is over, the barriers will come down. Then we will slip off. If it has to be just the pair of us, then so be it.
Pyroroamer: That is ingenious.
Spawner: Yes. Yes it is. Now, let us go to the Avernum Trilogy Forum before the ur-noob notices that we are missing.
Pyroroamer and Spawner exit.
Spawner: Help us, your Noobness!
Drakefyre comes to an abrupt halt.
Drakefyre: The ur-noob? Here? You mean it's not a true Bob?
Drakefyre turns and runs away. Spawner aims another bolt at him, but misses. Drakefyre yells as he runs.
Drakefyre: Ban you! Ban you both!
Drakefyre exits. Spawner runs up to the ur-noob.
Spawner: We led an administator right to you! Why didn't you smush him?
The ur-noob's scales look dull and it is sitting slumped over as if exhausted. The ur-noob shakes its head and stares at Spawner. The ur-noob may look a little ill, but the eyes are still bright and dangerous. Spawner takes a step back.
Ur-noob: ARE YOU QUESTIONING ME, SPAWNER?
Spawner: No! Of course not, your Noobness! It's just that, sometimes, your vast wisdom and diabolic plans are above my intelligence, your Noobness.
Ur-noob: THEN YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I LET HIM GO BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT!
The ur-noob suddenly sneezes. The huge jet of flame that results sets most of the forum on fire.
Spawner: What is it, your Noobness?
Ur-noob: NOTHING! JUST A LITTLE COLD, THAT'S ALL! NOW, GO BACK TO THE BATTLE!
Spawner: Before we go, your Noobness, there's just one little thing I want to tell you.
Ur-noob: WHAT IS IT?
Spawner: It was that administrator who helped Jeff escape. That's why we were luring him to you.
Pyroroamer: (Whispers) I thought we were running for our lives.
Spawner: (Whispers) We were, but the ur-noob doesn't know that.
The ur-noob rears up to its full height and roars.
Ur-noob: WHAT! CAPTAINS, WE GO TO THE AVERNUM TRILOGY FORUM NOW! KILL EVERYONE ELSE, BUT KEEP THAT ADMINISTRATOR ALIVE! HE'S MINE!
The ur-noob charges out of the forum. Spawner and Pyroroamer hesitate.
Pyroroamer: How did you know that he was the one who helped Jeff escape?
Spawner: I didn't. I made it up.
Pyroroamer: But why?
Spawner: To end this battle with a decisive victory.
Pyroroamer: You are truly loyal to the ur-noob then?
Spawner: Don't be silly. Loyalty to the ur-noob will only get you killed.
Pyroroamer: Then why don't we slip off right now? I'll round up the last of my flamers and you can gather the brightest noobs and 1337 h4x0rs. We'll find an easier message board to conquer and rule it.
Spawner: We can't. The barrier that the ur-noob put up to keep the Spiderwebbers from leaving blocks us as well.
Pyroroamer: So what do you propose we do?
Spawner: Exactly what I have set in motion. Allow the ur-noobs and the brainless spammers to kill off all the Spiderwebbers while we stay alive. After the battle is over, the barriers will come down. Then we will slip off. If it has to be just the pair of us, then so be it.
Pyroroamer: That is ingenious.
Spawner: Yes. Yes it is. Now, let us go to the Avernum Trilogy Forum before the ur-noob notices that we are missing.
Pyroroamer and Spawner exit.