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Scene 6: Blades of Avernum Editor Forum

Scene 6: Blades of Avernum Editor Forum

Kelandon is supervising the final touches to the defenses of the forum.

Kelandon: That's a nice little bit of scripting, Niemand. Nikki, hurry up. We don't have much time.

Nikki: I'm almost done.

Khoth: These defenses aren't nearly so good as the defenses in the Blades of Exile Forum, even though the scripting on this forum allows us to do more stuff.

Kelandon: That's true, but there are fewer proficient scripters for this forum and the scripting takes longer to do.

Smoo: I wish TM were still alive. He could have done some impressive things, I'm sure.

Smoo finishes up with a demon-spawning trap and walks over to help Archmagus Micael finish his barricade filled with ruby skeletons. Nikki finishes his final trap.

Nikki: Okay. I'm finished. I'm just worried that it's not good enough.

Kelandon: It'll be fine. Let's go before it's too late.

Khoth: Too late.

A group of 1337 h4x0rs bursts into the forums. Most die attempting to get through one of Kelandon's puzzles but two of them manage to make it through safely and attack Smoo before he can react. Smoo dies.

Kelandon: Oh my god! They killed Smoo!

Kelandon, Khoth, Archmagus Micael, and Nikki all run for the exit as more 1337 h4x0rs and undead pour into the forum. Although the traps slow down and kill many 1337 h4x0rs and undead, the noob army advances through the forum with relative ease. Spawner and Pyroroamer stay back.

Pyroroamer: Well, this is easier than the maze in the Blades of Exile Forum.

Spawner: Indeed. Do you realize that we've conquered half the forums now. Hey... who's that?

Niemand comes out of nowhere bearing a jade halberd. Spawner saves its life by pushing a 1337 h4x0r into the path of the halberd. Pyroroamer and Spawner scramble out of blade range.

Spawner: Kill him! Kill him now!

Three 1337 h4x0rs run up, but Niemand performs a fancy move that kills all three easily.

Niemand: You won't get me so easily!

Pyroroamer: Do you have any sort of plan, Spawner?

Spawner: You mean besides throwing every noob under my command at him at once? Well, we could run to the Avernum Trilogy Forum, except that I don't think he'll follow. Yikes!

Spawner ducks the halberd again and runs further away.

Spawner: Kill him! All of you, kill him!

Niemand is surrounded by 1337 h4x0rs. He hacks away at them for a very long time but eventually he starts to get tired. There doesn't seem to be any end to the 1337 h4x0rs that Spawner and Pyroroamer send at him.

Spawner: How many 1337 h4x0rs can he kill?

Pyroroamer: I'll send a flamer at him. That should take him down.

Pyroroamer secretly directs one of the few remaining flamers, still disguised as a 1337 h4x0r, to attack Niemand. Niemand slays another 1337 h4x0r, then hits the flamer in disguise. The flamer explodes, killing many 1337 h4x0rs and critically injuring Niemand.

Niemand: Well, at least I die defending my favorite forum. That, and the fact that they haven't found my best work yet.

Niemand dies. Spawner and Pyroroamer look at each other as they ponder Niemand's final words. Suddenly, there is a huge explosion that kills about fifty 1337 h4x0rs.

Spawner: Oh. It must have been that trap.