Scene 1: Announcements Forum
Scene 1: Announcements Forum
The forum is almost completely cleaned up, and many of the Spiderwebbers are starting to goof off. Thuryl and Erika Maroonmark are exchanging puns. Dintiradan is plotting his evil comeback. He sniggers as he jots an idea down.
Dintiradan: its ingenous! teribl speling iz a grat way 2 tak over teh wolrd!
GoldenKing, Nick Ringer, and Mysterious Man are still drinking. GoldenKing is watching the forum entrance to make sure Alorael doesn't enter. Nick Ringer drops an empty bottle and picks up a new one.
Mysterious Man: That's your third one... how many are you going to drink?
Nick Ringer: Just enough to make playing Geneforge really fun.
Order Mage decides that it is too quiet and clears his throat.
Order Mage: You know who the greatest person in the world is? Hitl...
Order Mage, sensing some hidden danger, stops speaking and looks up. Jumpin' Salmon is sitting on a ledge near the top of the forum. He has the sniper rifle aimed directly at Order Mage.
Order Mage: ...Jumpin' Salmon. Yes, Jumpin' Salmon is the greatest person in the world.
Wise Man looks up at Jumpin' Salmon.
Wise Man: No way! How did you get Alorael's sniper rifle?
Jumpin' Salmon: I was the first one to ask for it.
Wise Man: Can I just hold it?
Jumpin' Salmon: Sure, if you can get up here.
Wise Man: How did you get up there?
Jumpin' Salmon: I jumped.
Wise Man: I should have guessed.
Wise Man begins climbing up to the ledge. Arancaytar, having finished the blueprints for the new moderator board, is adding many new features to the stats. MagmaDragoon walks over to Nick Ringer.
Nick Ringer: Hey, Magma. What do you want?
MagmaDragoon: I want to go to the Geneforge Forum to check on something. Will you come with me?
Nick Ringer: Sure thing!
Nick Ringer staggers upright. MagmaDragoon looks confused.
MagmaDragoon: No, I don't want the thing to appear. That's why I want you to come with me.
GoldenKing: teh geneforce fourm hmm canisters adn skribbane taht wood b fun
MagmaDragoon, Nick Ringer, and GoldenKing exit. Thralni and Snafta are discussing whether or not the chicken gods can fly.
Snafta: They're chickens. Chickens can't fly.
Thalni: but there almighty gods they cann due hatever theey wan incuding flying witch they would do becaus flyinng s cool.
Snafta: But their chickens! Thralni, your... your... you are making me mess up two! Er, too.
Thralni: sory
Ephesos, Slartucker, Nicothodes, Fatman, Student of Trinity, and Dikiyoba enter. Ephesos and Dikiyoba continue into the Tech Support Forum. The other Spiderwebbers crowd around Slartucker, Fatman, and Nicothodes.
Spring: Did you see the thing?
Fatman: yes
Spring: What did it look like?
Slartucker shakes his head.
Slartucker: I can't even begin to describe it.
Wise Man finally reaches the ledge and sits down next to Jumpin' Salmon.
Wise Man: Okay, let me see the rifle.
Jumpin' Salmon gives the rifle to Wise Man. Down below, the conversation about the thing continues.
Dareva: The thing isn't the ghost of the ur-noob, is it?
Ben4808: No, it doesn't sound like the ur-noob at all.
Archmage Alex: Did the thing look like this?
Archmage Alex holds up a cartoon of a creature with many, many tentacles.
Slartucker: No, it didn't look anything like that.
Archmage Alex: How about this?
Archmage Alex holds up a cartoon of red eyes staring out of the shadows.
Slartucker: The thing is not Arctic Wolf!
Archmage Alex: How about this?
Archmage Alex holds up a picture of a zombie muffin.
Slartucker: No, that's not it either.
Archmage Alex: Then I'm all out of cartoons and the thing isn't among them!
Lord Llama: ur al wierd
Jumpin' Salmon: Okay, that's it!
Jumpin' Salmon grabs the sniper rifle back from Wise Man and aims it at Lord Llama. Before he can fire, however, Arancaytar steps forward, right in front of Lord Llama.
Jumpin' Salmon: Dam it!
Arancaytar: Now that the Announcements Forum is cleaned up, we should...
Ben4808: Go to the RWG Forum and spam?
Arancaytar: No, we should...
Spring: We are not going to go clean up the Avernum 4 Forum. We've been working ever since we've been revived. That's not what these message boards are about. I say we go hang out in the general forum instead!
Ben4808: That would work well too.
Spring exits. All the other Spiderwebbers spend a moment thinking about the suggestion and then follow, even Arancaytar. Only Jumpin' Salmon and Wise Man are left.
Wise Man: So, how do we get down?
Jumpin' Salmon: The same way you got up.
Jumpin' Salmon jumps down. Wise Man starts to climb down.
Wise Man: Watch out for the thing. If it gets me now, I'm in trouble.
Jumpin' Salmon: I'm watching for it.
Wise Man: Good.
Wise Man concentrates on searching for his next handhold. The thing crawls out of a corner.
Jumpin' Salmon: I see the thing!
Jumpin' Salmon aims the rifle at the thing and fires. The bullet passes right through it.
Jumpin' Salmon: What? Nothing should be able to stand against Alorael's sniper rifle!
The thing: Hvgf!
Jumpin' Salmon falls over unconscious. Wise Man slips and falls. Fortunately, he is low enough that he isn't hurt by the fall.
The thing: Knbctr!
Wise Man loses consciousness as well. After a short time, both Jumpin' Salmon and Wise Man wake up. The thing is nowhere to be seen. Jumpin' Salmon picks up the sniper rifle.
Jumpin' Salmon: so wat hapened too u
Wise Man: 7|-|12 12 20 14|\/|3.
Jumpin' Salmon: no kiding oh wel
Jumpin' Salmon and Wise Man exit.
Dintiradan: its ingenous! teribl speling iz a grat way 2 tak over teh wolrd!
GoldenKing, Nick Ringer, and Mysterious Man are still drinking. GoldenKing is watching the forum entrance to make sure Alorael doesn't enter. Nick Ringer drops an empty bottle and picks up a new one.
Mysterious Man: That's your third one... how many are you going to drink?
Nick Ringer: Just enough to make playing Geneforge really fun.
Order Mage decides that it is too quiet and clears his throat.
Order Mage: You know who the greatest person in the world is? Hitl...
Order Mage, sensing some hidden danger, stops speaking and looks up. Jumpin' Salmon is sitting on a ledge near the top of the forum. He has the sniper rifle aimed directly at Order Mage.
Order Mage: ...Jumpin' Salmon. Yes, Jumpin' Salmon is the greatest person in the world.
Wise Man looks up at Jumpin' Salmon.
Wise Man: No way! How did you get Alorael's sniper rifle?
Jumpin' Salmon: I was the first one to ask for it.
Wise Man: Can I just hold it?
Jumpin' Salmon: Sure, if you can get up here.
Wise Man: How did you get up there?
Jumpin' Salmon: I jumped.
Wise Man: I should have guessed.
Wise Man begins climbing up to the ledge. Arancaytar, having finished the blueprints for the new moderator board, is adding many new features to the stats. MagmaDragoon walks over to Nick Ringer.
Nick Ringer: Hey, Magma. What do you want?
MagmaDragoon: I want to go to the Geneforge Forum to check on something. Will you come with me?
Nick Ringer: Sure thing!
Nick Ringer staggers upright. MagmaDragoon looks confused.
MagmaDragoon: No, I don't want the thing to appear. That's why I want you to come with me.
GoldenKing: teh geneforce fourm hmm canisters adn skribbane taht wood b fun
MagmaDragoon, Nick Ringer, and GoldenKing exit. Thralni and Snafta are discussing whether or not the chicken gods can fly.
Snafta: They're chickens. Chickens can't fly.
Thalni: but there almighty gods they cann due hatever theey wan incuding flying witch they would do becaus flyinng s cool.
Snafta: But their chickens! Thralni, your... your... you are making me mess up two! Er, too.
Thralni: sory
Ephesos, Slartucker, Nicothodes, Fatman, Student of Trinity, and Dikiyoba enter. Ephesos and Dikiyoba continue into the Tech Support Forum. The other Spiderwebbers crowd around Slartucker, Fatman, and Nicothodes.
Spring: Did you see the thing?
Fatman: yes
Spring: What did it look like?
Slartucker shakes his head.
Slartucker: I can't even begin to describe it.
Wise Man finally reaches the ledge and sits down next to Jumpin' Salmon.
Wise Man: Okay, let me see the rifle.
Jumpin' Salmon gives the rifle to Wise Man. Down below, the conversation about the thing continues.
Dareva: The thing isn't the ghost of the ur-noob, is it?
Ben4808: No, it doesn't sound like the ur-noob at all.
Archmage Alex: Did the thing look like this?
Archmage Alex holds up a cartoon of a creature with many, many tentacles.
Slartucker: No, it didn't look anything like that.
Archmage Alex: How about this?
Archmage Alex holds up a cartoon of red eyes staring out of the shadows.
Slartucker: The thing is not Arctic Wolf!
Archmage Alex: How about this?
Archmage Alex holds up a picture of a zombie muffin.
Slartucker: No, that's not it either.
Archmage Alex: Then I'm all out of cartoons and the thing isn't among them!
Lord Llama: ur al wierd
Jumpin' Salmon: Okay, that's it!
Jumpin' Salmon grabs the sniper rifle back from Wise Man and aims it at Lord Llama. Before he can fire, however, Arancaytar steps forward, right in front of Lord Llama.
Jumpin' Salmon: Dam it!
Arancaytar: Now that the Announcements Forum is cleaned up, we should...
Ben4808: Go to the RWG Forum and spam?
Arancaytar: No, we should...
Spring: We are not going to go clean up the Avernum 4 Forum. We've been working ever since we've been revived. That's not what these message boards are about. I say we go hang out in the general forum instead!
Ben4808: That would work well too.
Spring exits. All the other Spiderwebbers spend a moment thinking about the suggestion and then follow, even Arancaytar. Only Jumpin' Salmon and Wise Man are left.
Wise Man: So, how do we get down?
Jumpin' Salmon: The same way you got up.
Jumpin' Salmon jumps down. Wise Man starts to climb down.
Wise Man: Watch out for the thing. If it gets me now, I'm in trouble.
Jumpin' Salmon: I'm watching for it.
Wise Man: Good.
Wise Man concentrates on searching for his next handhold. The thing crawls out of a corner.
Jumpin' Salmon: I see the thing!
Jumpin' Salmon aims the rifle at the thing and fires. The bullet passes right through it.
Jumpin' Salmon: What? Nothing should be able to stand against Alorael's sniper rifle!
The thing: Hvgf!
Jumpin' Salmon falls over unconscious. Wise Man slips and falls. Fortunately, he is low enough that he isn't hurt by the fall.
The thing: Knbctr!
Wise Man loses consciousness as well. After a short time, both Jumpin' Salmon and Wise Man wake up. The thing is nowhere to be seen. Jumpin' Salmon picks up the sniper rifle.
Jumpin' Salmon: so wat hapened too u
Wise Man: 7|-|12 12 20 14|\/|3.
Jumpin' Salmon: no kiding oh wel
Jumpin' Salmon and Wise Man exit.