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Scene 3: Run-down Message Board

Scene 3: Run-down Message Board

This forum has seen better days, which is saying something because it probably didn't look all that good to begin with. It looks like it was created from a shoddy program and that there was no planning involved in setting it up. Spam is lying everywhere and huge flamefests burn brightly. Kelandon and Marlenny enter.

Marlenny: Why are we here? We know that the rip just leads to the general Internet. We should go back to Spiderweb.

Kelandon: This place is close enough to the rip that it may pose a danger to Spiderweb. I guess not, though, since it appears to be abandoned.

Marlenny: Wait, Kel. It's not.

Marlenny points to a noob crossing the forum. It throws a piece of spam on the ground and then stops and stares at Kelandon and Marlenny.

Noob: hay wat r u doing hear

Marlenny: We're just passing through.

Noob: talk rite i cant understand u

Kelandon: We are talking properly. You're the one who is speaking incorrectly.

Noob: ur inselting me im caling a gaurdian

The noob runs off.

Marlenny: What do you think a guardian is?

Kelandon: I'm not sure.

The gaurdian enters. It turns out to be this board's name for a moderator.

Gaurdian: wats going on

The noob points at Kelandon.

Noob: he inselted me

Kelandon: I did not.

The gaurdian stares at Kelandon like he's a complete idiot.

Gaurdian: tihs is teh internet u dont hav 2 talk lik taht

Kelandon starts to retort angrily, but Marlenny elbows him in the ribs, cutting him off.

Marlenny: So, why are you called a guardian instead of a moderator?

Gaurdian: its cooler tihs way

Marlenny: And what is this place, anyway?

Gaurdian: a rely cool plase 2 lik hang out adn stuf

Marlenny: But this place is practically abandoned.

Gaurdian: yea theirs a stroy but teh adminostater can tel it betr tahn i

The gaurdian walks off. Kelandon sighs.

Kelandon: The "adminostater"?

Noob: lol yea pwnage!!!1 lol

The gaurdian reappears with the adminostater.

Gaurdian: tel tehm the stroy

Adminostater: k i started tihs fourm a long tim ago 2 hav fun adn many ppl came and ppl wer hapy adn ppl once cared abot speling and gramer and we evn used 2 thro ppl out bcus they coldnt spek rite adn then tihs... tihs think showd up...

Kelandon: Wait. "Think"? Do you mean "thing"?

Adminostater: yea watever tihs thinf showd up adn ppl started fiting and lots ov ppl left but teh rest ov us relized taht speling and gramer didnt mater and wev ben hear evr sense

Kelandon: Right. Well, we need to get going now.

Marlenny: Where are we going?

Kelandon: Back to Spiderweb. The thing is not going to do to Spiderweb what it did to this place.

The adminostater steps in front of Kelandon and Marlenny, blocking their exit.

Adminostater: no u hav 2 stay

Kelandon: I don't think so.

The gaurdian also steps into Kelandon and Marlenny's way.

Gaurdian: but we need mor ppl!!1

The noob, plus three others and a 1337 h4x0r, form a circle around Kelandon and Marlenny.

Kelandon: So, you're not going to let us out?

Adminostater: tahts rite

Kelandon: Then we'll have to fight our way out.

Kelandon lunges toward the adminostater and gaurdian. Marlenny trips a charging noob. The noob falls to the ground, tripping another noob in the process. Kelandon shoves the gaurdian into the adminostater. Marlenny ducks the 1337 h4x0r's axe. Kelandon and Marlenny run for the exit and escape. The adminostater and gaurdian stand up.

Gaurdian: they escapd

Adminostater: well bring tehm bak folow me

The adminostater, gaurdian, 1337 h4x0r, and four noobs exit.