Skip to main content

Chapter 2: Tyranicus Dies. Again.

Chapter 2: Tyranicus Dies. Again.

Dintiradan, Wanderer, and the Lurker entered the SubTerra Forum. Tools and mechanical bits and pieces littered the floor around it.

"Here it is. I've spent the last several days building this. Now it's almost completed," Dintiradan said.

"It's c... cold d... down here. W... why are we here instead of ups... stairs? I th... think I'm getting a... a c... cold. Achoo!" The Lurker sneezed.

"Because we won't be discovered down here, that's why," Dintiradan.

There was the sound of footsteps and a knock on the door to the forum.

"Then who is that?" Wanderer asked.

Dintiradan grinned evilly. "Our guest. Come in!"

The door opened and Zephyr Tempest entered, wearing nothing but shorts, a short-sleeved shirt, and flip-flops. The Lurker stared at him in amazement.

"A... aren't you c... cold?" he stuttered.

"What? It's the perfect temperature!" The machine caught Zephyr Tempest's attention. "Hey, what is that? Is it another deth ray?"

"No, it's something far, far more sinis... um, this machine will automatically summon things once it is correctly calibrated."

"You mean like the elements that are necessary to revive Spiderwebbers who've died?" Zephyr Tempest asked.

"Yes. Exactly like that. It won't be used to summon things that will cause massive chaos and devastation or anything like that," Dintiradan said.

"So you need my help calibrating it, since I'm a mage and I know the summon element spell?" Zephyr Tempest asked.

"Yes. But don't make it specifically for elements. It should be for general use. You know, to summon skribbane for Alorael in case he runs out or something," Dintiradan said.

"Hmm. Perhaps you should ask Drakefyre to help?" Zephyr Tempest asked, "This will be a difficult task, and he is more experienced than I am."

"Are you saying you can't do it?" Dintiradan asked, "Surely a mage of your skill could..."

"Of course I can do it!" Zephyr Tempest said.

Dintiradan suppressed a grin. "Excellent."

"C... can I go upstairs now, Dintiradan? I... I can't f... feel my t... toes," the Lurker said.

"Yes. But be back in an hour!" Dintiradan said.

"Th... thank you, b... boss." The Lurker exited the SubTerra Forum.


Back in the General Forum, it was chaos. Almost everyone had taken the agreement to spam the boards back to life, and the board had reached an activity level it hadn't known for two months. Although the flamefests were practically burnt out, someone had thrown a large amount of spam onto the fire, so the forum was plenty warm. The Lurker quietly entered and stood as close to the flames as he could without setting himself on fire.

Jumpin' Salmon looked down at his watch. "Come on, people. We've been quiet for about five seconds. Marlenny, where's that census topic?"

"I'm working on it! They're going to be really good questions, though," Marlenny said.

"Fine. Keep working on it. Everyone else, what are we going to talk about?"

Everyone started talking at once.

"Television shows!" Tyranicus yelled.

"Typos!" said Nioca.

"How to eliminate the weak from society!" Emperor Tullegolar said.

"Why we should eat more meat!" Fatman said.

"You're disgusting!" Nikki told Fatman.

Slartucker looked up from the table where he and Drakefyre were debating a technical point about golems over the Encyclopedia Ermariana. "We're trying to work over here. Could you keep it down?"

"But..." Jumpin' Salmon began.

"Oh, don't argue. We'll just go to Room: Spidweb for a few hours," Tyranicus said. He climbed onto a chair and announced to the room, "Attention, everyone! We're getting a group together to go hang out at Room: Spidweb and chat for a few hours. Anyone who wants to come along is welcome."

"Sure, I'll come along," Jumpin' Salmon said.

"I'll come," Kelandon said.

"Me too," Marlenny said.

"I'm coming," Lazarus said.

Ephesos looked up from the spell book he was studying. "I'm busy at the moment, but I'll join you shortly."

"Hmm. I'll... Silent Assassin! Put those lawn chemicals down!" Lenar said.

The Silent Assassin stuck his tongue out at Lenar and ran off.

"I'm afraid I'm busy too," Lenar said as he followed the Silent Assassin. "You heard me! Put them down. Now. And this had better not have anything to do with bananas or rubber bands again!"

"I'll join you later as well," Slartucker said, "After I finish a few more entries."

"When are we leaving?" Ash Lael asked.

"Right now." Tyranicus stepped down from the chair and walked toward the door

"Hang on, let me get my coat." Arancaytar went to the coat room and grabbed his coat. The pink slip of paper that Nikki had left fluttered out of the pocket and onto the floor. Arancaytar picked it up and read it. It said: Arancaytar, you crazy kitten, I know you secretly like me. So stop pretending like you don't. -Nikki.

"Gah!" Arancaytar ripped up the note and threw it on the ground. He hurried to join the group of Spiderwebbers preparing to leave: Tyranicus, Jumpin' Salmon, Kelandon, Marlenny, Lazarus, Stareye, FBM, Thuryl, Alec, Mysterious Man, and the Almighty Do-er of Stuff.

"Right. Is that everyone? Then let's go." Tyranicus opened the door and began walking through the snow.

"Hey, Tyranicus, are you forgetting something?" Jumpin' Salmon asked.

Tyranicus kept walking as he called back, "Like what?"

"Where's Alorael?" Jumpin' Salmon asked.

About twenty feet out, Tyranicus stopped short as realization hit him. Then he dropped dead as a bullet from Alorael's sniper rifle hit him.

"Oh dear. That's not good," Jumpin' Salmon said.

"Oops! Sorry! That's why you should tell me when you're going out!" Alorael yelled from his lookout spot.

"Mages! Someone summon some manganese. Zorro, we need to borrow your copy of Galactic Core," Stareye said.

Zeviz stepped forward. "I've got it. Summon manganese!" There was a flash of light and a chunk of manganese appeared on the ground. Zeviz handed it to Zorro. Zorro combined it with Galactic Core. Out in the snow, Tyranicus slowly stood up, alive and restored.

"How're you doing, Tyran?" Jumpin' Salmon asked.

"I'm okay. Now let's go," Tyranicus said.

Lazarus was the last one out. As the door shut behind him, Slartucker sighed in relief.

"Thank goodness. Maybe now I can get some work done," he said.

"Silent Assassin, are those my finger paints? What are y... the kitchen! Why did you do that to the kitchen!?" Lenar yelled.