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Chapter 18: To Spiderweb!

Chapter 18: To Spiderweb!

Jewels approached the Kingdom of Loathing gates. The Lurker stepped out of the shadows. "Well? Did you find them?"

"Yes, they're at Wikipedia. Unfortunately, Riibu is with them. I didn't know about her until too late, so they know I was there."

"Did they escape?"

"I don't know."

"Get the others and go to Wikipedia. If they're still there, I'll track them down."

"Actually, Dintiradan wants to see you back at the Waystation."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. He said it was important, though."

"Fine. I still want you to get the others and go to Wikipedia. Kill the escapers!" The Lurker ran off.


Stareye materialized in a room full of bookshelves. He opened several books. The articles inside were too difficult for him to understand. Then he looked up at the ceiling. There was nothing unusual about it. This wasn't right. This wasn't where the portal was supposed to take him.

Stareye left the room and continued wandering.


Ephesos shooed fluffy turtles out of the way so that he could bring the Almighty Doer of Stuff a meal. The Almighty Doer of Stuff accepted the food wordlessly.

Nioca entered the room.

"So, how'd it go?" Ephesos asked.

"Not bad, actually. Azuma and Nalyd lost their necromancy skills for a week. I ended up with a warning." Nioca went over to a cupboard and started pulling out first aid supplies."

"What are you doing?"

"Well, you heard that Attorukkip and EcksianBot arrived, right?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So Dintiradan decided it's time to retake Spiderweb. He's left the Lurker in charge of the Waystation while he's gone."

"What? When do we leave? Why haven't I heard about any of this?"

"Well... not everyone can go, obviously. Some people need to stay behind to guard the Waystation. And, well, you haven't been improved much, which means you won't be much use in a fight, so it makes sense that you... and, well, someone has to keep an eye on ADoS and... and..." Nioca gave up when he saw the look Ephesos was giving him. "Sorry." He dumped all the supplies he could fit into his inventory and ran off.


Student of Trinity found Slartucker and Niemand sitting in one of the laboratories. There was a huge pile of enchanted armor and weapons in the center of the room. Off to one side were a few unenhanced items in primary colors.

"I see you've been busy. Have you figured anything out?"

"Yeah. It's odd. Very, very rarely an item just changed colors instead of taking an enchantment. Dunno what that's about yet," Slartucker said.

"Ah. Are you both going to Spiderweb with Dintiradan?"

"I am," Slartucker said.

"No," Niemand said. A shield slid off the top of the pile and landed next to him. He kicked it away. "Please tell everyone to come up here and take whatever they want. It's the only way we're going to be rid of this all."


R'd'p'a and A'p'd'r were getting tired. The bots and Ecksian were still following them.

"Do you know where we are anymore?" R'd'p'a tried to pull the arrow out of the crack it had wedged in. The arrow broke. R'd'p'a untied the rope and coiled it up. He handed it to A'p'd'r.

A'p'd'r tied the rope to a new arrow and fired it at the next roof. "No. I take it you don't either?"

R'd'p'a shook his head.

The rats swung over to the next building. It was exceptionally tall. When they reached the top, they could see the glare of light off of Wikipedia's numerous windows in the distance.

"Do you think we can make it?" A'p'd'r asked.

This time, R'd'p'a was able to retrieve the arrow without problems. "We'd better."


Jewels, Lazarus, Ackrovan, and Neossokrass arrived at the Wikipedia Google station.

"This is an awfully big place. Do we want to split up so we can cover more ground?" Lazarus asked.

"No. We will be safer if we stick together," Jewels said.

Neossokrass bared his fangs. "Sssafer? We've been altered. There'sss nothing to be ssscared of."

Jewels sighed. "Nikki and Riibu have been altered as much as we have, you know."


At the Waystation, the rats and Spiderwebbers were gathering in opposite corners of the General Forum. ***** gave his group a final check and then made his way over to Dintiradan.

"My rats are ready to go. Are you sure you don't need our help?"

"No. We'll be fine."

"Alright. Then we're leaving now. There are a few rats remaining behind. We'll pick them up once we've found a good home."

Dintiradan nodded. "Do you have some place in mind?"

***** grinned. "I know just the spot, actually." He rejoined the rest of the rats. "All right, everyone. We're moving out."

Dintiradan watched the rats depart. Once word got out that there was magical equipment in the labs, they had armed themselves to the teeth. As someone crashed to the floor behind him, Dintiradan wished that several Spiderwebbers had shown the same restraint. "Jeran! You can have one shield. Not three!"


Nikki, Riibu, Iffy, Emperor Tullegolar, Arancaytar, and Garzad stopped for a break in a room full of hydrology articles. They had been searching for Stareye with no success.

"How are we supposed to find him? This place is huge, and who knows what he'd find interesting in the state that he's in," Nikki asked.

"Do you think he knows that he's lost his memory? Because if he does, I bet he's looking for a cure," Arancaytar said.

Iffy was standing guard at the door. "Shh! There's some sort of commotion going on down the hallway."

Everyone listened carefully. A moment later, they heard Jewels shout, "That's Stareye! Stop him!"

"Okay. So, now we know where Stareye is. And now we know where Jewels is, and that she's got others with her. What do we do?" Garzad asked.

"We could get out of here while they're distracted. They wouldn't hurt Stareye." Nikki hesitated. "Would they?"

Emperor Tullegolar snorted. "Who cares?"

Riibu bit her lip. "Actually, I think I know a way we can rescue him."

"There's no way you'll be able to sneak up on them. Jewels will be expecting that," Arancaytar said.

"I know. But they won't be expecting a sanctuary spell."


Dintiradan and the other Spiderwebbers were still waiting in the General Forum. An hour had passed since the rats had left. Finally, Alorael entered the General Forum. He had a bag full of freshly made skribbane potions slung across his back.

"It's about time," Dintiradan said.

"Sorry." Alorael shrugged.

"Right. We're leaving," Dintiradan said.

The Spiderwebbers finally set off.