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Scene 4: Exile Trilogy Forum

Scene 4: Exile Trilogy Forum

The Spiderwebbers are waiting for the first noobs to come through. They have all eaten and rested. Drakefyre and Kelandon are leading them. Slartucker and Jewels have taken charge of the newbs. There are only about seventy newbs left out of the once-mighty army. Many are now equipped with only crude stone weaponry, having either lost or broken their original swords. Happa Tai Yattai, on the other hand, has found two Black Halberds and is wielding one in each hand. No one bothers to ask how he manages to do so. MagmaDragoon still has his flaming sword. Sir David has equipped two swords, as have Sherbiebaby, Nicothodes, and Nikki. Infernal666hate has Demonslayer equipped.

Jewels: Stay together, newbs. We'll help you out as much as we can.

Slartucker: It looks like the first noobs are here.

Drakefyre: Archers, be ready!

On the other end of the forum, 31337 h4x0r stands on a rock with the stolen skribbane at his side and Alorael's rifle in his hands.

31337 h4x0r: So many good choices. Who's it going to be? Who's it going to be?

31337 h4x0r drinks a bottle of skribbane. Then it chooses a target and fires. The Stew Boy goes down.

31337 h4x0r: Got you!

As the Spiderwebbers either look towards the Stew Boy or dive for cover, the first round of flamers begins their charge.

The Stew Boy: Remember... I've made my living by congratulating others... in... celebratory topics without... ever... making one... of my own... So, please... make my funeral... a... happy celebration... of my life... urg.

The Stew Boy dies. Arancaytar adds the Stew Boy to the list.

Drakefyre: Here they come! Archers, fire!

The Spiderwebbers with bows and arrows equipped fire at the flamers. Many explode. However, the flamers are spaced out well enough to avoid a chain reaction.

Drakefyre: Shoot again!

The archers shoot once more. More flamers explode. 31337 h4x0r sends the second round of flamers on their way. The archers continue to shoot. A large group of them are gathered around and on a large rock.

Zeviz: There is no way we can shoot them all.

Student of Trinity fires another arrow.

Student of Trinity: Just keep shooting until you run out of arrows.

Ben4808 fires another arrow as well.

Ben4808: And be ready to run if the flamers get too close.

Marlenny: Look out!

The small group dives out of the way as a flamer rushes them. The flamer hits the rock and explodes.

Zeviz: Everyone okay?

Marlenny: I'm fine.

Shuan Wuan: Help me! I'm hurt!

Shuan Wuan pulls himself to his feet. He is scorched but, fortunately, not injured too badly.

Ben4808: I'll help you to the Tech Support Forum.

Shuan Wuan and Ben4808 exit.

Nicothodes: You know, these swords aren't very useful against flamers. Maybe I should rethink my strategy.

Sherbiebaby: Let's throw pens at them!

Nikki: Come join the group, Arancaytar!

Arancaytar: No, thank you.

Nikki looks disappointed, but shrugs it off.

Nikki: Suit yourself.

Nicothodes, Sherbiebaby, and Nikki hurl pens at the flamers. The 31337 h4x0r sends the third round of flamers into battle.

Spawner: This is not having the damaging effect on the Spiderwebbers that we had hoped.

31337 h4x0r drinks another skribbane potion and pulls out the rifle.

31337 h4x0r: They're almost out of arrows. Besides, I also have a missile weapon.

31337 h4x0r selects a target and fires.

Nicothodes: Ahhhhhhhhh! I'm hit!

Nicothodes collapses.

Sherbiebaby: Nicothodes!

Nicothodes: I'm... still... not... cute! Urg...

Nicothodes dies. Jumpin' Salmon ducks 31337 h4x0r's next shot.

Jumpin' Salmon: Something must be done! Archmage Alex, distract that noob so that I can get a clear cast!

Archmage Alex quickly draws a stick figure wielding a half-eaten box of raisins. The stick figure jumps up and down wildly, throwing raisins at flamers all the while. Jumpin' Salmon pulls out his fishing pole. As 31337 h4x0r aims at the stick figure, Jumpin' Salmon casts towards the rifle. Just before 31337 h4x0r fires, the line wraps around the rifle. Jumpin' Salmon jerks the fishing pole quickly, and the rifle flies out of 31337 h4x0r's hands. The stray bullet hits a flamer. Jumpin' Salmon reels the rifle in.

Jumpin' Salmon: I hate to give up something reel fun, but this rifle is better than my fishing pole anyway.

Jumpin' Salmon begins shooting flamers.

31337 h4x0r: He stole my gun! I can't believe he stole my gun! This is an outrage!

Spawner: Oh, just shut up and send the next round of flamers into battle.

31337 h4x0r casts an empty potion bottle at Spawner. Spawner steps aside and motions the next round of flamers into battle, since it doesn't look like 31337 h4x0r will. 31337 h4x0r runs off shouting.

31337 h4x0r: I'll kill him and get my rifle back! Just you watch!

Shuan Wuan and Ben4808 enter the forum and rejoin the archers.

Student of Trinity: I'm out of arrows!

Zeviz: I'm almost out too.

Wise Man: And there's still more flamers. What'll we do?

Marlenny: Are there any javelins left?

Ben4808: No, they all got used up in the Nethergate Forum.

Student of Trinity: We'll just have to throw rocks at them.

When the archers run out of arrows, they throw down the useless bows and pick up rocks. They chuck the rocks at the flamers as fast and as hard as possible. All the other Spiderwebbers pick up on the idea too. At the other end of the forum, Spawner watches as 1337 h4x0r returns.

Spawner: Changed your mind, have you? Afraid of getting shot?

31337 h4x0r scowls.

31337 h4x0r: No. I forgot my skribbane. But I've got it now and I'm going back.

31337 h4x0r picks up the bag and runs back into the battle after Jumpin' Salmon. Jumpin' Salmon shoots another flamer. Suddenly, he is tackled by the 31337 h4x0r. The 31337 h4x0r grabs the rifle and starts to pull it out of Jumpin' Salmon's hands. Jumpin' Salmon doesn't let go. At the other end of the forum, Spawner yells angrily, even though 31337 h4x0r cannot possibly hear it.

Spawner: What! Why didn't you use your throwing axes to kill him from a distance? Oh, this is going to end badly, I can already tell.

Jumpin' Salmon and 31337 h4x0r fight over the rifle for a while. In the process, the bag of skribbane potions gets knocked aside and skribbane potions roll out. A flamer picks up a bottle.

Arancaytar: Salmon! Drop the rifle and run!

Jumpin' Salmon looks over and sees the flamer about to drink the skribbane. Jumpin' Salmon lets go of the rifle, jumps up, and runs off. 31337 h4x0r looks over as the flamer chugs it down.

31337 h4x0r: No, you fool! That's flammable!

The flamer explodes in a much larger blast than normal. Jumpin' Salmon looks over his shoulder at it. Unfortunately, he doesn't watch where he is running and falls into a pit.

Jumpin' Salmon: (Echoing) Ahhhhhhhhh!

Jumpin' Salmon dies. Arancaytar adds his name to the list. But Arancaytar also adds 31337 h4x0r to the list of noob army captains slain.