Scene 6: Exile Trilogy Forum
Scene 6: Exile Trilogy Forum
Almost all the Spiderwebbers are hurling rocks, sticks, pens, raisins, or other mundane items at the flamers now. Arancaytar stands on a rock, looking around. Across the forum, he can see Spawner. Standing on either side of Spawner is an angry flamer and an unintelligent-looking 1337 h4x0r.
Arancaytar: Oh great. They've appointed more captains. Does it look like we've been appointing replacement moderators?
Thuryl approaches.
Thuryl: I'm appointing you to be a replacement mod for me.
Arancaytar: What! Why?
Thuryl: I've found a way of escape that only I can take. So I am taking it. Good-bye.
Thuryl vanishes.
Arancaytar: How did he... oh, this is just great.
Hawk King: It's getting difficult to find rocks.
Student of Trinity throws another rock.
Student of Trinity: I've noticed. But I've also noticed that there aren't many flamers left.
Kelandon: The 1337 h4x0rs are getting ready for a charge.
Drakefyre: Melee fighters, be ready!
1337 h4x0rs storm across the forum.
Happa Tai Yattai: Finally, these Black Halberds get put into play. Charge!
The melee fighters charge into the 1337 h4x0rs.
Nikki: Death to noobs!
Jewels: Ready, newbs? Redwaaaaalllllll! Oops, wrong cry. Death to noobs! Death to noobs!
Jewels and Slartucker head the newb charge. The archers draw their stone daggers and charge forward as well. Ben4808 grabs the handle of a 1337 h4x0r's axe with one hand and stabs the 1337 h4x0r with the dagger in the other hand. Student of Trinity throws a rock at a 1337 h4x0r, knocking it unconscious. Student of Trinity then kills it easily and takes the axe. Ephesos and Dikiyoba enter the forum, Ephesos having decided that being on site would work better. Both are weighted down with potions and first aid kits.
Ephesos: Dikiyoba, bring anyone who is injured back to me.
Dikiyoba: Dikiyoba will do that, Ephesos.
Dikiyoba steps into the battle. There is a horrible cry as one of Archmage Alex's stick figures is killed.
Archmage Alex: I really liked that one. It was one of my best works. Oh well.
Archmage Alex quickly draws a replacement that rushes into battle. Arancaytar still stands on the rock, watching the battle.
Arancaytar: Good. The only flamer left is the captain. But it looks like a few more 1337 h4x0rs are entering the forum.
Wonko the Sane jumps aside as a 1337 h4x0r runs at him and stabs it as it runs by.
Wonko the Sane: I just killed my first noob!
The Ripper rushes past Wonko and Sane and stabs four 1337 h4x0rs in quick succession. Nikki and Sherbiebaby are also having great sucess against the 1337 h4x0rs.
Nikki: These things aren't as hard to kill as we first thought they would be, are they?
Sherbiebaby stabs another 1337 h4x0r.
Sherbiebaby: Take that from Nicothodes!
Sir David stabs a 1337 h4x0r. He spins around and comes face-to-face with one that doesn't look quite right. He stabs it anyway and realizes a split second too late what it really is.
Sir David: Flamer in disguise!
Sir David takes off as fast as he can. The flamer explodes. Sir David is thrown to the ground by the explosion. Dikiyoba rushes over and takes him to Ephesos.
Ephesos: What happened, Sir David?
Sir David: The flamers are disguised as 1337 h4x0rs!
Ben4808 and Wise Man are fighting together. Wise Man stabs another 1337 h4x0r.
Wise Man: Uh-oh. There's one of those disguised flamers coming toward us.
With nothing else to throw, Ben4808 throws his dagger. The flamer explodes. Ben4808 quickly picks up an axe from a dead 1337 h4x0r. Slartucker kills a 1337 h4x0r about to strike down one of the newbs.
Slartucker: We can't keep this up for much longer, Jewels.
Jewels: I know. We'll just have to... Slartucker, there's a newb separated from the rest!
Slartucker battles his way over. The newb goes down before Slartucker can reach him. Slartucker slays the 1337 h4x0r. Student of Trinity and Hawk King join him. Ben4804 and Wise Man begin to fight their way over as well. A 1337 h4x0r attacks Ben4808 from behind. Ben4808 goes down. Student of Trinity kills the 1337 h4x0r.
Slartucker: Ben!
Ben4808: I will be forever remembered as the fifteenth Spiderwebber to die in this battle.
Ben4808 dies.
Wise Man: I guess that means he's not a bot after all.
Just a short way away, the Almighty Do-er of Stuff is wounded. Dikiyoba kills the 1337 h4x0r about to finish him off and carries him to Ephesos. Jewels and the newbs realize how deep they are into enemy ranks when a large group of 1337 h4x0rs circle around and attack from behind. The newbs are rapidly getting slaughtered. Slartucker sees their predicament but can't do anything about it except yell.
Slartucker: Get out of there, Jewels!
Jewels: I'm trying!
Just as it looks like Jewels will break free, a throwing axe thrown by the unintelligent 1337 h4xor hits her.
Slartucker: Not again!
Jewels is badly injured and cut off from help even further by several more 1337 h4x0rs who rush in. But she draws herself up defiantly and attacks them. Jewels manages to kill three more 1337 h4x0rs before finally getting killed. She yells one last battle cry before she dies.
Jewels: Eulaliaaaaa!
Slartucker: I can't take it any more!
Slartucker runs away from the battle in terror and exits. Many Spiderwebbers follow.
Drakefyre: I haven't called for the retreat yet!
But the retreat to the Avernum Trilogy Forum continues. Ephesos takes Sir David and Dikiyoba takes the Almighty Do-er of Stuff to the Tech Support Forum. At the other end of the forum, Spawner laughs and speaks to the flamer at its side.
Spawner: We have them now!
Pyroroamer: Good. A few of my flamers may make it through this battle after all.
The stupid-looking 1337 h4x0r marches back toward them.
h4xx: I slew a Spiderwebber.
Spawner: Good. Now go head the charge into the next forum.
h4xx: Yes!
h4xx runs off.
Pyroroamer: It's not very bright, is it?
Spawner: No. 1337 h4x0rs aren't very bright at all. 31337 h4x0r was an unsurpassed genius as far as 1337 h4x0rs go. And look how stupidly it managed to die.
h4xx makes it through to the front of the noob army.
h4xx: Attack! Attack!
The noob army charges into the Avernum Trilogy Forum.
Arancaytar: Oh great. They've appointed more captains. Does it look like we've been appointing replacement moderators?
Thuryl approaches.
Thuryl: I'm appointing you to be a replacement mod for me.
Arancaytar: What! Why?
Thuryl: I've found a way of escape that only I can take. So I am taking it. Good-bye.
Thuryl vanishes.
Arancaytar: How did he... oh, this is just great.
Hawk King: It's getting difficult to find rocks.
Student of Trinity throws another rock.
Student of Trinity: I've noticed. But I've also noticed that there aren't many flamers left.
Kelandon: The 1337 h4x0rs are getting ready for a charge.
Drakefyre: Melee fighters, be ready!
1337 h4x0rs storm across the forum.
Happa Tai Yattai: Finally, these Black Halberds get put into play. Charge!
The melee fighters charge into the 1337 h4x0rs.
Nikki: Death to noobs!
Jewels: Ready, newbs? Redwaaaaalllllll! Oops, wrong cry. Death to noobs! Death to noobs!
Jewels and Slartucker head the newb charge. The archers draw their stone daggers and charge forward as well. Ben4808 grabs the handle of a 1337 h4x0r's axe with one hand and stabs the 1337 h4x0r with the dagger in the other hand. Student of Trinity throws a rock at a 1337 h4x0r, knocking it unconscious. Student of Trinity then kills it easily and takes the axe. Ephesos and Dikiyoba enter the forum, Ephesos having decided that being on site would work better. Both are weighted down with potions and first aid kits.
Ephesos: Dikiyoba, bring anyone who is injured back to me.
Dikiyoba: Dikiyoba will do that, Ephesos.
Dikiyoba steps into the battle. There is a horrible cry as one of Archmage Alex's stick figures is killed.
Archmage Alex: I really liked that one. It was one of my best works. Oh well.
Archmage Alex quickly draws a replacement that rushes into battle. Arancaytar still stands on the rock, watching the battle.
Arancaytar: Good. The only flamer left is the captain. But it looks like a few more 1337 h4x0rs are entering the forum.
Wonko the Sane jumps aside as a 1337 h4x0r runs at him and stabs it as it runs by.
Wonko the Sane: I just killed my first noob!
The Ripper rushes past Wonko and Sane and stabs four 1337 h4x0rs in quick succession. Nikki and Sherbiebaby are also having great sucess against the 1337 h4x0rs.
Nikki: These things aren't as hard to kill as we first thought they would be, are they?
Sherbiebaby stabs another 1337 h4x0r.
Sherbiebaby: Take that from Nicothodes!
Sir David stabs a 1337 h4x0r. He spins around and comes face-to-face with one that doesn't look quite right. He stabs it anyway and realizes a split second too late what it really is.
Sir David: Flamer in disguise!
Sir David takes off as fast as he can. The flamer explodes. Sir David is thrown to the ground by the explosion. Dikiyoba rushes over and takes him to Ephesos.
Ephesos: What happened, Sir David?
Sir David: The flamers are disguised as 1337 h4x0rs!
Ben4808 and Wise Man are fighting together. Wise Man stabs another 1337 h4x0r.
Wise Man: Uh-oh. There's one of those disguised flamers coming toward us.
With nothing else to throw, Ben4808 throws his dagger. The flamer explodes. Ben4808 quickly picks up an axe from a dead 1337 h4x0r. Slartucker kills a 1337 h4x0r about to strike down one of the newbs.
Slartucker: We can't keep this up for much longer, Jewels.
Jewels: I know. We'll just have to... Slartucker, there's a newb separated from the rest!
Slartucker battles his way over. The newb goes down before Slartucker can reach him. Slartucker slays the 1337 h4x0r. Student of Trinity and Hawk King join him. Ben4804 and Wise Man begin to fight their way over as well. A 1337 h4x0r attacks Ben4808 from behind. Ben4808 goes down. Student of Trinity kills the 1337 h4x0r.
Slartucker: Ben!
Ben4808: I will be forever remembered as the fifteenth Spiderwebber to die in this battle.
Ben4808 dies.
Wise Man: I guess that means he's not a bot after all.
Just a short way away, the Almighty Do-er of Stuff is wounded. Dikiyoba kills the 1337 h4x0r about to finish him off and carries him to Ephesos. Jewels and the newbs realize how deep they are into enemy ranks when a large group of 1337 h4x0rs circle around and attack from behind. The newbs are rapidly getting slaughtered. Slartucker sees their predicament but can't do anything about it except yell.
Slartucker: Get out of there, Jewels!
Jewels: I'm trying!
Just as it looks like Jewels will break free, a throwing axe thrown by the unintelligent 1337 h4xor hits her.
Slartucker: Not again!
Jewels is badly injured and cut off from help even further by several more 1337 h4x0rs who rush in. But she draws herself up defiantly and attacks them. Jewels manages to kill three more 1337 h4x0rs before finally getting killed. She yells one last battle cry before she dies.
Jewels: Eulaliaaaaa!
Slartucker: I can't take it any more!
Slartucker runs away from the battle in terror and exits. Many Spiderwebbers follow.
Drakefyre: I haven't called for the retreat yet!
But the retreat to the Avernum Trilogy Forum continues. Ephesos takes Sir David and Dikiyoba takes the Almighty Do-er of Stuff to the Tech Support Forum. At the other end of the forum, Spawner laughs and speaks to the flamer at its side.
Spawner: We have them now!
Pyroroamer: Good. A few of my flamers may make it through this battle after all.
The stupid-looking 1337 h4x0r marches back toward them.
h4xx: I slew a Spiderwebber.
Spawner: Good. Now go head the charge into the next forum.
h4xx: Yes!
h4xx runs off.
Pyroroamer: It's not very bright, is it?
Spawner: No. 1337 h4x0rs aren't very bright at all. 31337 h4x0r was an unsurpassed genius as far as 1337 h4x0rs go. And look how stupidly it managed to die.
h4xx makes it through to the front of the noob army.
h4xx: Attack! Attack!
The noob army charges into the Avernum Trilogy Forum.