Scene 1: General Forum

Dintiradan has enlisted the help of The Lurker and enslaved several newbs in order to build a gigantic deth ray.

Dintiradan: no taht peice gos over their over their!

The Lurker moves a gear to the left a little and screws it into place. Jumpin' Salmon and Wise Man are still on the lookout for Bomber and Lord Llama.

Jumpin' Salmon: wher is lord lama i lost him wen he ran bhind spring

Wise Man: |\|3*7 71|\/|3 2|-|007 47 |-|1|\/| 4|\|y\/\/4`/

Directly below Jumpin' Salmon and Wise Man, Bomber and Lord Llama are slowly climbing up.

Bomber: well get tehm

Lord Llama: yea we will

Ben4808 wakes up.

Ben4848: Ow. My head hurts.

Terror's Martyr: You should still shut the ndsiuf up, you knbvyftr little fdskhus!

Major: Wghy do you always talk to people like tghat?

Terror's Martyr: You shut the kbjhvghfc up as well, nbghfg!

Major: Tghat's not nice!

Arancaytar and Imban are standing slightly apart from everyone else. Imban smiles grimly.

Imban: If there's one good fact about the thing, it's that it is a lot more effective at blocking TM than the autocensor.

Arancaytar: What's happening over there?

A cluster of Spiderwebbers are arguing fiercely over something. Some of them are actually debating. The others are just yelling. Major walks up and joins the argument. Order Mage bursts out of the group, closely pursued by Infernal666hate.

Order Mage: Ahhh! I'm being chased by a psychopath!

Infernal666hate swings demonslayer at Order Mage, but misses.

Infernal666hate: Ill krill ewe, ewe chitin!

Arancaytar sighs.

Arancaytar: It looks like Order Mage's been trolling again. And it worked a lot better than he anticipated.

Imban: I'll break up the argument and you keep Infernal from murdering Order Mage.

Imban walks over to the arguing group.

Imban: All right, everyone. Discussion over, topic closed.

Everyone leaves, except for Thuryl. He has Major trapped in a headlock.

Thuryl: But I almost have him with the crushing grip of reason.

Major: No, ghe doesn't! Ghive me a few more minutes witgh ghim and I will totally win!

Imban: Thuryl, let him go.

Thuryl lets go of Major. Major falls to the floor.

Thuryl: No one said I had to be nice.

Jumpin' Salmon: look theirs order mag i wonder wat he did tihs tim 2 mak infernal so angery

Wise Man: |-|3 9508481`/ 241|) 20|\/|37|-|1|\|6 480|_|7 |\|4512

Jumpin' Salmon: ur probably rite hmm mabey ill snipe order mag insted

Jumpin' Salmon aims at Order Mage.

Bomber: almost their

Lord Llama: yea

Wise Man overhears them and looks down.

Wise Man: 100|< 0|_|7!!1

Bomber tackles Wise Man and Lord Llama tackles Jumpin' Salmon. Down below, the thing suddenly strikes.

The thing: Szemklnji!

Imban, Thuryl, and Major stagger back, covering their ears. Major steps on Spring's foot.

Spring: Hey! Watch it!

Major: It's tghe tghingh!

The thing crawls toward Imban.

The thing: Pxyutv!

Imban blacks out. Robinator wakes up and walks over to Mr. Bookworm. He is still reading.

Mr. Bookworm: What are you doing?

Robinator shrugs and points to the book.

Mr. Bookworm: Oh, it's The Call of Cthulhu. I hope Arancaytar doesn't mind that I'm borrowing it.

Robinator leans in close, as if inspecting the book.

Robinator: Qlmkn!

Mr. Bookworm blacks out. Robinator walks off. Imban wakes up.

Imban: :0

Spring: Wow. Now that is nasty.

Imban: >:(

Over in the corner, both Nick Ringer and Kingy have passed out from drinking so much. Empty beer bottles litter the floor around them. Mysterious Man stands up and looks disgusted.

Mysterious Man: I can't believe that they both...

The thing: Bbvcycrp!

Mysterious Man falls over unconscious. GoldenKing and Randomizer enter.

GoldenKing: Klnbt!

Thuryl: Look out! It's GoldenThing!

GoldenKing casts aura of flames. Spring, Major, and Imban manage to get out of the way, but Thuryl is blasted full force by the spell. Thuryl dies. *i, Drakefyre, Alorael, Schrodinger, Ephesos, and Wanderer enter.

Dintiradan: wandrer! over hear

Wanderer wanders over to help Dintiradan, the Lurker, and the newbs with the deth ray. Drakefyre turns to *i.

Drakefyre: What's the best way to stop Randomizer and GoldenKing?

Up on the ledge, Jumpin' Salmon and Wise Man are still struggling against Bomber and Lord Llama for control of the sniper rifle.

Lord Llama: giv it up

Jumpin' Salmon: no its min

Jumpin' Salmon and Lord Llama roll over the edge. The sniper rifle is knocked over with them. Wise Man pushes Bomber off the ledge as well.

Wise Man: 100|< 0|_|7 8310\/\/!!1

Jumpin' Salmon, Lord Llama, and Bomber land on GoldenKing, knocking him to the ground. Alorael neatly catches the falling sniper rifle. Jumpin' Salmon, Lord Llama, and Bomber get up.

Ephesos: No one's hurt, are they?

Jumpin' Salmon: o no! aloreal has the sniper rifle adn i dont

Ephesos: I'll take that as a no.

Saunders hurries forward with a rope. *i, Drakefyre, Saunders, and Schrodinger tie up and gag GoldenKing so that he can't do any more damage.

Drakefyre: Schrodinger, will you watch over GoldenKing to make sure that he doesn't escape?

Schrodinger: I can do that.

Drakefyre, *i, and Saunders go after Randomizer. Meanwhile, Ephesos casts unshackle mind on Mr. Bookworm. Mr. Bookworm wakes up.

Mr. Bookworm: y me o well

Mr. Bookworm picks up the book and resumes reading. When Randomizer sees that Drakefyre and *i are after him, he runs for the door. Dolphin and Erika Maroonmark try to stop him.

Randomizer: Omntytr!

Erika Maroonmark falls over unconscious. Randomizer casts spray acid on Dolphin. Ephesos runs forward and casts a curing spell. Randomizer makes it to the door.

*i: No! He's going to get away!

The door swings open, knocking Randomizer flat. Kelandon and Marlenny enter. Drakefyre, *i, and Saunders tie up and gag Randomizer before he can recover.

*i: Saunders, will you guard Randomizer?

Saunders: Sure.

Drakefyre: Kelandon, Marlenny, did you find anything?

Kelandon: Yes, we found this run-down forum.

Kelandon and Marlenny explain what they saw to *i and Drakefyre. Order Mage runs into a corner. Infernal666hate cuts off his escape.

Infernal666hate: How eye half ewe!

Arancaytar: Infernal! Knock it of. Er, off.

Infernal666hate ignores him. Delicious Vlish quickly floats over and casts daze on her. Order Mage runs off.

Delicious Vlish: I've got this under control.

Arancaytar: Thanks.

Arancaytar walks off to hear the rest of Kelandon and Marlenny's report. Ephesos casts unshackle mind on Erika Maroonmark.

Erika Maroonmark: \/\/|-|47 |-|4993|\|3|)?

Ephesos: The thing, through Randomizer.

Erika Maroonmark: 0|-|

Drakefyre: So, that's all you found?

Marlenny: Yep.

Kelandon: How has it been going here?

Arancaytar: Awful. The thing has been attacking people left and right. The quality of writing is terribl. Er, terrible. That's twice now!

Arancaytar looks around and sees the thing close to him. He panics and runs off.

Arancaytar: You can't take me! I've already dedicated my life to an ancient horror! Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!

Arancaytar runs into Delicious Vlish. As Delicious Vlish tries to calm Arancaytar down, Infernal666hate shakes her head to clear it.

Infernal666hate: Wear dig Ordeal Mad gnu?

Infernal666hate slips away and starts searching for Order Mage.

Arancaytar: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

Delicious Vlish: All right. You've made your po...

The thing: Nnuvcr!

Arancaytar and Delicious Vlish both wince.

The thing: Mnbhvuqw!

Delicious Vlish and Arancaytar black out. Nicothodes stands boldly in the middle of the forum, mechanical pencil in hand.

Nicothodes: Do you think I'm cute?

Jumpin' Salmon eyes the mechanical pencil.

Jumpin' Salmon: uh no

Nicothodes: Right answer, fishbreath. Hey, you! Do you think I'm cute?

Ephesos: Is this some sort of trick question? No.

Nicothodes: That's correct. Stupid tree hugger!

Ephesos ignores her and walks away.

Nicothodes: Hmmph. This is boring. Hey, it's Fatman. Hmmm.

Nicothodes thinks for a moment. Then she raises her mechanical pencil.

Nicothodes: I hate you, Fatman! I'm going to stab you 693 times!

Fatman: stay a way from me!

Fatman runs away. Ephesos casts unshackle mind on Delcious Vlish and Arancaytar. They regain consciousness.

Arancaytar: i new somthing lik this wuz going to hapen how abot u delesous vlish

Delicious Vlish radiates anger. Robinator stands over Mysterious Man and kicks him a few times. Mysterious Man wakes up and stands up silently. Robinator points to Saunders, still guarding Randomizer. Mysterious Man nods.